What do you guys do to stop procrastinating?

I tend to put off stopping procrastinating until later. :rolleyes:

What works for you?

What do you guys do to stop procrastinating?

I tend to put off stopping procrastinating until later. :rolleyes:

What works for you?

I like Jim Rohn's mantra "Do it - do it now!"

I also make sure to implement good (active) habits and get rid of the bad (procrastinating) habits.

A few months ago I wrote an article about procrastination (http://growth-focus.com/members/Newsletter/Growth_Focus_2004/What's_holding_you_back?/26/) because this was what my subscribers told me that they would like to get rid of.

Well, the "Do It Now" method doesn't work for me, since I often do things now that could be put off later instead of doing the things that need to get done now (if that makes sense).

For example, instead of doing my laundry, I would be researching what banner exchange software I need to put on my website. Both need to get done, but the laundry is actually more urgent, yet I am putting it off since I don't like doing laundry.

So, it's more like flicking, which is doing something that needs to be done to avoid doing something else that needs to be done.

The problem is that I often do things now that should be scheduled for a later time, instead of doing what I should be doing now.

This is a tough one for me to advise on, because I do the same thing...A lot!

I am not that familiar with Tony Robbins' ideas, but doesn't he use a form of NLP to change the way you feel about something? i.e. Conditioning yourself to like doing laundry.

Normally when I do my laundry I play some music.

Well, I have to go down to the laundry room of my apartment complex. I don't have a laundry machine in my apartment. :( But you are right, music makes things better.

Well, I have to go down to the laundry room of my apartment complex. I don't have a laundry machine in my apartment. :( But you are right, music makes things better.

Bring a book.

When I do my laundry I usually bring one of the books I'm reading at the moment because I almost always have to wait for a machine. That way I can do research and laundry all at the same time.

"Doing laundry" probably isn't one of your major goals in life, so it's unlikely that it's part of your written plan for how you are goiing to reach your goals.

But neither is shopping groceries, cooking dinner or eating - and you do those anyway.

Doing laundry is not so urgent that it should interfere with your plans for reaching your goals, but it's important anyway and so you should fit it in your schedule.

Set aside time slots where you do house work. Use an eggtimer, set it for one hour, and don't do anything else that hour.

When the hour is up you go back to following your plan towards success.

I actually don't have to sit there in the laundramat to do laundry. I take it down to the apartment's laundry room, start it up, and go back to my apartment, then come back the throw it in the dryer, and then later to get the clothes back.

Speaking of which, it is time for me to go down and put it in the dryer.

To stop procrastinating, I just try to make a start on whatever task has to be done. I find that when I get started its not so bad, and get it done painlessly.

Yeah, once I started it, it was easy. Sometimes I wonder why I put off stuff.

Procrastination does not necessarily have to be a bad thing if you get things done. Let's say your deadline is a week from now on Monday, and you do not do any work for a week and then the day before on Sunday you do all of it and finish. There's nothing wrong with this. Good stress can make you work even faster. But if it is something like repainting the house and you keep putting it off, and it never gets done, that's a bad thing.

Well, for me, either it doesn't get done, or it is not worth the stress that comes with procrastinating. It is so much easier to do it at the appropriate time instead of doing it last minute. So procrastination, at least for me, hurts more than it helps.

Procrastination does not necessarily have to be a bad thing if you get things done. Let's say your deadline is a week from now on Monday, and you do not do any work for a week and then the day before on Sunday you do all of it and finish.

In my mind this isn't procrastination - procrastination is where you put off thing again and again and again.

It's just part of your planning - and a good planning, if you know exactly how long the job will take AND you do other equally important jobs during the week.

But waiting to start until the last minute is setting yourself up for failure because just one unforseen event or delay can cause your entire project to be late and fail.

What do you guys do to stop procrastinating?

I tend to put off stopping procrastinating until later. :rolleyes:

What works for you?

You need to learn why you are procrastinating. There are a multitude of reasons why:
- You lost in your mind the end you are striving for. In addition to this, that end in mind is not giving you the emotional energy you need to continue.
- You are doing the things you need to do at the wrong time. Know yourself. If a task you need to accomplish is being done at a time when you aren't normally in a mood to do such, then you will procrastinate. Have a multitude of tasks you need to do, and do the ones you need to do, when you are strongest.
- You are setting up a win-lose situation. This is particularly true if you set certain deadlines in place that aren't needed. If you are doing this, and deadline approaches, you set up idea you failed. If you run the game, make it so you always win. And even if you fall short, you need to reframe this falling short as "seeds for future success" (as Napoleon Hill said).
- You haven't broken the task down into more managable and defined subtasks to do. If you don't do this, then you are trying to swallow a whale, which will get you discouraged.
- Did you accurately estimate the time and effort needed to do what you needed to when you started out?
- Are you sure you are on the right track? Maybe your initial goal was in the right direction, but what you really need to accomplish is a bit different. Doing this may end up changing how you approach things. Also, the situation may of changed, meaning that you adjust what your objectives are.
- Do you have anyone else to help you stay on track with positive support? If you are extroverted, and don't have this, then you will run into problems.

And keep this in mind. Take the best option available and go with it. You can always find a better option later. Keep this Napoleon Hill quote in mind:
"Most of us go through life as failures because we are waiting for the 'time to be right' to start doing something worthwhile. Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along."

- Richard Hutnik

Great post Richard!

Great post Richard!

Thanks. That is just a distilling down of a gajillion books I have read on time management, motivation, etc... plus a few of my own observations.

- Richard

i believe, when you are actually aware that you are procrastinating on a certain subject (like i am at the moment about paying my taxes from last year, so therefore don't want to speak to my accountant) you are only justifying what can actually be put off till a later date. and it's true.

procrastination is an event that when we overcome it, an elation occurs, and funnily enough, it wasn't really that painful after all was it? it's just like when you haven't done something before you're a bit dubious about the outcome, and it's sometimes safer to stay with what you know. and we are all acutely aware on the same hand that when we move outside of our comfort zones, we grow.

we all do it, probably everyday, and if it wasn't a problem, we wouldn't be talking about it. but is it really a problem???

* a lot of really good stuff *Thanks, that helped a lot. I have actually been uber productive these past couple weeks, and in large part it is because I have created and am living into a future that inspires me. I also see that in areas that I am still procrastinating, I have not broken down the tasks into pieces, don't think they are important, don't think that they will serve me in the future, although they are things that must get done, etc.

I also see that I have no system in place to insure that I do the thinks I need to do, and they tend to all get done at the last possible minute or not at all.

So something that I am going to work on is creating a system and breaking things down into smaller pieces. And I am starting to do that.

I used to have an awesome system and used to be uber productive, but then circustances, and me losing direction have contributed to my current state of disorder. So I need to get back into some of the practices that worked before, and then also develop new practices that support me.

I'm just realising now how powerful it is to visualise positive outcomes when approaching a new task or project.... good advice from Tom. :)

I'm finding now that I am not procrastinating nearly as much as I have in the past. For some reason I seem to have alot more energy to put into my work, and feel alot better about not being swamped with numerous mundane tasks.

i'm procrastinating in areas that are not a priority, and in the areas that really are important to me, i just seem to jump in and do it. instrinsically i don't believe that procrastination is totally negative, in fact, it is there for us to use as a tool to use to help us take order and prioritise what really matters. procrastination only ever becomes a problem when a lot of other things in your life are out of balance, and you become overwhelmed by them.

i'm procrastinating in areas that are not a priority, and in the areas that really are important to me, i just seem to jump in and do it. instrinsically i don't believe that procrastination is totally negative, in fact, it is there for us to use as a tool to use to help us take order and prioritise what really matters. procrastination only ever becomes a problem when a lot of other things in your life are out of balance, and you become overwhelmed by them.

Find the thing you want to achieve the most. Then, build your desire to have it and turn that desire into a red, hot, flaming, burning desire that will cause you to persist with bulldog determination that will eventually mow down all opposition.

Persisting With Bulldog Determination
by Rick Gettle © 2003

Ninety-five percent of all new businesses go out of business within the first five years or less.

Why Do They Fail?

There are many starters in life - but very few finish what they start. When the going gets tough, most people fold. They don’t persist hard enough or persevere long enough. They don’t have a red-hot flaming burning desire to succeed. They don’t make it their definite major purpose. They don’t take enough personal initiative to make it happen – they don’t go the extra mile. They don’t want it bad enough. They don’t have enough self-control and discipline. Shall I go on? I could write a book on why so many people fail, but I’d rather talk about those who succeed.

There Are Three Kinds Of People

People who make things happen – people who watch someone else make it happen – and people who don’t know what’s happening.

The Make-It-Happen People

Thomas Edison persisted through 4,999 different attempts to invent and perfect the incandescent lamp. He finally succeeded on his 5,000th attempt. This is a recorded fact.

What do you suppose he had that others didn’t have? Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.

“Never, never, never, never give up”…. Winston Churchill

“The majority of people meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail” – Napoleon Hill

What Is Persistence?

It is the power to hold on in spite of everything, to endure—this is the winner’s quality. Persistence is the ability to face defeat again and again without giving up—to push on in the face of great difficulty. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that’s necessary to reach you goals.

To go on resolutely -- in spite of difficulties – endurance. Having a fixed purpose -- free from doubt or wavering. Firm in adherence to whatever one is bound to by duty or promise. Stubborn – Unyielding – never giving up – never surrendering – willing to die for - never to yielding to physical force – even when tortured – would rather die than betray or give up information. Refusing to relent. To be steadfast in purpose - To prevail, endure, remain, last.

The Greatest Tragedy In Life

Millions of people come into this world and leave this world and never ever realize or develop their full powers and potential. They bargained in life for a penny, and life would pay no more, not realizing that any wage they would have asked of life – life would have gladly paid. Some of those people never even tried, they just settled for mediocrity. Others, got a dream, an idea, a desire or goal, and decided to go for it, but then dropped out when the going got tough. There are many starters in life, but very few finish. Too many people give up on their dreams too soon in life.

No matter what the level of our ability, we have more potential than we can ever develop in a lifetime. Deep within every man and woman dwells those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish them, which they never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize their life if aroused and put into action.

Potential means: undeveloped -- and unrealized -- powers, possibilities, and capabilities -- that can -- but have not yet come into being. In other words, the best is yet to come! You have powers and talent you have not developed or used yet. You also have dreams and fantasies you have not realized yet. Your unlimited possibilities are still alive, just waiting for you to give them power.

Tough Times Never Last - But Tough People Do.

How would you like to see a permanent end to all of your problems? We all have problems – and our problems only end - when we do. The only people without problems are in the cemetery. I’d like to stick around – problems and all. How about you?

No matter what problems you have to face today, there is a solution, because you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. As long as you think that your destiny is in the hands of other people, the situation is hopeless. You will need to confront your problems with courage, boldness and action.

There’s an old Chinese saying that goes, “If you live with a problem long enough, it could eventually become a blessing.” Within every adversity in life, there is always a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. We have to look for it - find it - and act on it.

We learn courage - when we face danger. We learn patience - when we endure suffering. We learn tenderness - when we taste pain. We learn to prize true friends – when false ones forsake us. We treasure health - when illness strikes. We learn to prize freedom -when we are in danger of losing it. Without trouble we would be like plants that have sprouted, grown, and been nurtured in the overprotected shelter of a hothouse -- too tender ever to live in the open. How can you possibly become a strong person, if you have an easy life? The tougher it is, the tougher you have a chance to become – if you choose to fight back.

When you see a highly decorated military person all dressed up with rows of battle ribbons and awards on their chest, you are looking at someone who courageously faced and conquered danger, hardships, adversities, problems, life-threatening situations, torture, injury, and heartbreak, watching their buddies die terrible deaths. These people had fortitude - the ability to endure and last. They wouldn’t quit, give up or run away. Yes there were times, I’m sure they knew, when they bit off more than they could chew, but through it all when there was doubt – they ate it up – and spit it out – the records show – they took the blows – and did it their way.

We don’t just get the sweet out of life without the bitter - we’d like to, but we don’t. The sun doesn’t always shine; sometimes there are storms, tornadoes, earthquakes, car accidents, fires and death. No one escapes the problems of life. If it doesn’t happen sooner in life, it will happen later.

We can overcome just about any problem, obstacle, or adversity that life deals us – if we have a strong enough will. Where there is a will, there is a way. Create a “bull-dog” determination and a “burning desire,” that will eventually mow down all opposition. Success is not measured by what a person accomplishes, but by the opposition they have encountered, and by the courage with which they have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds. Don’t pray for an easy life, without problems – pray to become a strong person. The higher you go in life, the more problems you will have to deal with.


Determination

“ You will be what you will to be;
Let failure find its false content
In that poor word, ‘environment,’
But spirit scorns it, and is free.
“It masters time, it conquers space;
It cows that boastful trickster, chance,
And bids the tyrant circumstance Uncrown,
and fill a servant’s place.
“The human will, that force unseen,
The offspring of a deathless soul,
Can hew a way to any goal,
Though walls of granite intervene.
“Be not impatient in delay,
But wait as one who understands;
When spirit rises and commands,
The gods are ready to obey.”

The End

Rick Gettle
The Master Mind Alliance Success Clubs
Online Success Club Meetings:
President/Founder
For free monthly newsletter: “Successercising” – contact us at:
Successercising@msn.com

i'm procrastinating in areas that are not a priority, and in the areas that really are important to me, i just seem to jump in and do it. instrinsically i don't believe that procrastination is totally negative, in fact, it is there for us to use as a tool to use to help us take order and prioritise what really matters. procrastination only ever becomes a problem when a lot of other things in your life are out of balance, and you become overwhelmed by them.

This is an interesting spin on procrastination and I agree with it to an extent. Why not use procrastionation as a tool? It is a signal that you aren't motivated to take action for some reason, and in some cases it could simply be that the goals you've set are no longer important to you, in which case it is time to re-examine why you've set these goals. Are these things that you must do? or are they things that can be set aside for later or removed from your list altogether?

However, I do not think that procrastination isnt always an indication that your goals are no longer important to you. I think it can instead be a signal that you have an underlying fear of tackling the task perhaps because you are afraid of rejection for example if the task involves cold calling. Or another example: procrastination could be a symptom of fear of failure of you are a recording artist and finishing your demo tape means facing rejecting whereas procrastinating allows you to postpone the possibility of hearing that your music is not good by someone else's standards. It isn't that making music is no longer a priority in your life. Its that the pain of rejection is stronger than your desire to make music.

Listen to Her! She knows what she talkin' about! :thumb:

it is time to re-examine why you've set these goals. Are these things that you must do? or are they things that can be set aside for later or removed from your list altogether?

.

Hi Meredith,

Can you give an example of a goal that someone would set that isn't important to them? I'm not sure I follow you. If it wasn't something that they have to do or something that they want to do, why would they set the goal in the first place? I'm inclined to follow the reasoning behind your second paragraph. Maybe I am just not understanding what you mean to say?


Seth

I think it can instead be a signal that you have an underlying fear of tackling the task perhaps because you are afraid of rejection for example if the task involves cold calling. Or another example: procrastination could be a symptom of fear of failure of you are a recording artist and finishing your demo tape means facing rejecting whereas procrastinating allows you to postpone the possibility of hearing that your music is not good by someone else's standards. It isn't that making music is no longer a priority in your life. Its that the pain of rejection is stronger than your desire to make music.

I think you are dead on the money. :thumb: That problem starts with our school system where people are usually critisized for trying something that does not result in immediate success. This makes people afraid or reluctant to try difficult things so that they won't look like a fool when they "fail"

Can you give an example of a goal that someone would set that isn't important to them? I'm not sure I follow you. If it wasn't something that they have to do or something that they want to do, why would they set the goal in the first place? I'm inclined to follow the reasoning behind your second paragraph. Maybe I am just not understanding what you mean to say?

How about when someone goes to medical or law school to achieve a career that their family or friends expected of them? That would be a goal that wasn't important to them. Even though they wanted to get the degree & then that job, that wasn't what was important to them-they were after the other persons acceptance.

Precisely, Jeremy. Good example.

Hi Meredith,

Can you give an example of a goal that someone would set that isn't important to them? I'm not sure I follow you. If it wasn't something that they have to do or something that they want to do, why would they set the goal in the first place? I'm inclined to follow the reasoning behind your second paragraph. Maybe I am just not understanding what you mean to say?


Seth


Seth,

Sometimes we set goals based on someone else's set of values or beliefs rather than our own core values. For example, perhaps you have set the goal of getting married. You've mentioned that you have this goal of finding your dream girl and settling down. Why have you set this goal? You don't have to answer this here. But think about it. Why is this important to you?

Now let me ask you another question. What is important to you in life? Passion? Success? Love? Faith? Health? Adventure? Freedom? Where do these rank in order of importance to one another?

Seth, there is a reason that you are not married and it probably isn't because you haven't "found" your dream girl yet. You mention that you are successul in other areas of your life. My guess is that those things (success, career, health, freedom) rank higher in your belief system than love and security. Those values are your driving forces, they are what guide your decisions and actions.

Perhaps you have reached a point in your life where you do want to get married, you do want to settle down, but you find yourself repeating old patterns; patterns that were in place when you were setting up your career and weren't ready to settle down. Well, the good news is that when you change your values, you will change your life. We are not our values.

Seth,

Sometimes we set goals based on someone else's set of values or beliefs rather than our own core values. For example, perhaps you have set the goal of getting married. You've mentioned that you have this goal of finding your dream girl and settling down. Why have you set this goal? You don't have to answer this here. But think about it. Why is this important to you?

Now let me ask you another question. What is important to you in life? Passion? Success? Love? Faith? Health? Adventure? Freedom? Where do these rank in order of importance to one another?

Seth, there is a reason that you are not married and it probably isn't because you haven't "found" your dream girl yet. You mention that you are successul in other areas of your life. My guess is that those things (success, career, health, freedom) rank higher in your belief system than love and security. Those values are your driving forces, they are what guide your decisions and actions.

Perhaps you have reached a point in your life where you do want to get married, you do want to settle down, but you find yourself repeating old patterns; patterns that were in place when you were setting up your career and weren't ready to settle down. Well, the good news is that when you change your values, you will change your life. We are not our values.

Meredith,

Interesting analysis given that you do not know me. I do follow you to a certain point.

I did put my career first for many years and I was not ready to settle down 5 or 10 years ago. Getting married was a long term goal then. Now that I am older it is a short term goal. But it has always been a goal.

Did I value my freedom more at one point? Sure. Did I value my career more at one point? Sure. And I still do value my career. So are you suggesting I ought to place more emphasis on love and marriage than I should on my career if I want to be successful in achieving that goal? :hmm:

-Seth

I think what Meredith is saying is that (as long as you have the drive) you will reach the goals that are important to you. They will however be the ones that are truely important to you-not nessecarily the ones that most people would consider important.

Think about it like this-a lot of people have went into sales with the goal of making a lot of money but when it comes down to it, they don't do what they need to in order to make that money. They will avoid prospecting, avoid the close, and if they do get a close dropped in their lap, they won't ask for refferals. Making money was important to them consciously, but subconsciously, avoiding rejection was more important. That was exactly what they got-by not doing the things that would help them reach one goal (making money) they reached the other goal (avoiding rejection).

Meredith,

Interesting analysis given that you do not know me. I do follow you to a certain point.

I did put my career first for many years and I was not ready to settle down 5 or 10 years ago. Getting married was a long term goal then. Now that I am older it is a short term goal. But it has always been a goal.

Did I value my freedom more at one point? Sure. Did I value my career more at one point? Sure. And I still do value my career. So are you suggesting I ought to place more emphasis on love and marriage than I should on my career if I want to be successful in achieving that goal? :hmm:

-Seth



Are you interested in achieving this goal of getting married, or are you committed to making it happen?

Your life is not a reflection of circumstances; it is a reflection of the decisions you've made based on your values and belief system.

I believe you when you say that you do want to get married, but an interest is not the same as a committment. You have been successful in your career, correct? You weren't simply interested in being successful in your career, you were committed to making it happen. You took action to make it happen.

So what creates this gap between interest versus committment to a goal? Your values. Your belief system. This isn't to say that you do not value marriage or love, but your committment and success in your career is a clear indicator that you place a stronger emphasis on the value of financial/career success. There is nothing wrong with this. However, if you are finding that you are not having much success in moving towards your goal of getting married, take a closer look at your values. Does it make sense to still have this value ranked at the top of your list of values? Maybe or maybe not, but the way to get to that answer is to think about what you truly want out of life in the next 5, 10, 15 years. Where do you want to be? What will you be doing? With whom will you be sharing your life? If this involves a family, marriage, etc. ; will working 60 hr. weeks get you closer to that goal? I'm not saying you shouldn't value your career or that you shouldn't have career goals, please understand that. What I am saying is that if you have a goal of meeting your dream girl and getting married but are staying home on Friday and Saturday nights to get caught up on paperwork, something isn't matching up.

Now there is the question of whether one should change their values. As jlknauff has mentioned, there are times when you are setting goals according to someone else's set of values. Should you change your values in order to meet their goals? No. You should only change your values in order to meet your goals. Knowing the difference comes with looking into your future and dreaming it up however you want. Thinking about what YOU really want out of life. If marriage is in this picture, but is not at the top of your current values and beliefs system, then you need to do some rearranging of values. However, if marriage is NOT in the future that you envision for yourself, you should not change your values and my guess then would be that the goal was set based on family presure or societal standards.

Hope I didn't confuse you more. :cookoo:

Hope I didn't confuse you more. :cookoo:

No. Youve given me some interesting brain food.

Your life is not a reflection of circumstances; it is a reflection of the decisions you've made based on your values and belief system.

I am not sure I agree with this. The truth of the matter, Meredith is that I have had to work very hard to be successful in my career and that has meant putting in long hours which in turn has essentially wiped out any time for dating. I haven't been able to focus on dating because of the circumstances created by my work situation. So I would say that my dating life is a reflection of circumstances.


This topic has certainly grabbed my interest to say the least.

Wow, interesting stuff you guys!





I am not sure I agree with this. The truth of the matter, Meredith is that I have had to work very hard to be successful in my career and that has meant putting in long hours which in turn has essentially wiped out any time for dating. I haven't been able to focus on dating because of the circumstances created by my work situation. So I would say that my dating life is a reflection of circumstances.



In looking at it with Meredith's post in mind, I would say this is incorrect. Your dating life is not a reflection of your work situation, but one of you valuing career success over dating success.

Or maybe I'm over-simplifying the whole thing and just need to mind my own business. :bonk:

The truth of the matter, Meredith is that I have had to work very hard to be successful in my career and that has meant putting in long hours which in turn has essentially wiped out any time for dating. I haven't been able to focus on dating because of the circumstances created by my work situation. So I would say that my dating life is a reflection of circumstances.

I'd have to say that your comment has proven that your dating life IS a reflection of your choices-you made the choice to put more effort into your career than you dating life. You say that your dating life is a reflction of circumstances created by work, but Endurance-those circumstances are a result of choices you made about your career. Don't get the wrong idea, no one is saying you are wrong for focusing on any one aspect of your life. We are just saying that the status of any part of your life is a direct result of choices you have made.

Seth,

Let's turn the tables for a minute.

What would you say to a man who says to you, "I met the love of my life in college, married her right after graduation, bought a home, and started a family together. We have a happy life and I love my family, but we never seem to have enough money. It seems that we live from paycheck to paycheck. I have worked for the same company now for 6 years, and in that time I've seen the promotions go to the single guys who stay later and work on weekends. How am I supposed to compete with that when I have a family that I love waiting for me at the end of the day?"

Is this man a victim of circumstance? Or has he made some choices that carry with them some blessings and some consequences?


I do not doubt that you've had to put in long hours to reach the level of success you've attained in your career, Seth. I am assuming that with that success comes the ability to purchase some things that you have wanted. When you write the check for those items, does it simply feel like a matter of circumstance that you are able to write that check? Or does it feel like YOU made it possible? I think we all know the answer to that and good for you because you've earned it! :thumb: So how is it that you are able to credit yourself for creating that circumstance, but you are not able to credit yourself for creating the circumstances that have kept you from dating? Aren't they both consequences of the same action: Working long, hard hours for many years?

It is easy for us to take credit for the things that do come our way, yet when things do not come our way, we often fail to realize that WE created the circumstances that prevented our success.

What smart people and good writers Meredith and Jeremy are! :thumb:

Thank you Tom :D

This forum gives us the opportunity to excersise some of our strengths, you've done a great job creating it :thumb:

Thanks, Tom! :)

You are both welcome! It's absolutely true. :)

Meredith, I don't know what you do, but I believe you could do quite well for yourself as a writer of some kind. :yup:

I do not doubt that you've had to put in long hours to reach the level of success you've attained in your career, Seth. I am assuming that with that success comes the ability to purchase some things that you have wanted. When you write the check for those items, does it simply feel like a matter of circumstance that you are able to write that check? Or does it feel like YOU made it possible? I think we all know the answer to that and good for you because you've earned it! :thumb: So how is it that you are able to credit yourself for creating that circumstance, but you are not able to credit yourself for creating the circumstances that have kept you from dating? Aren't they both consequences of the same action: Working long, hard hours for many years?



I read this several days ago and I have to say that when I did, I couldn't come up with a response to counterpoint it. And I still can't. Your right. :tiphat: I have a lot to think about.

Meredith,

The last month I've been thinking about my values and priorities. I decided to try something and see what happened. I made dating a higher priority and even though I consciously told myself I was going to do this, i caught myself cancelling dates and putting off plans to set up dates or get out there and meet people because somethings came up at work and I got distracted. I had to deal with work first. Now I'm wondering if this indicates that deep down, work truly ranks as a higher value for me and maybe it isn't so wrong for me to put so much energy into it. Or is it that I am reverting to what I know? I'm confused. How do you know what you truly value versus what you've been conditioned to do? How do you know the difference?


Seth

Sorry to jump into your thread (you guys have made fascinating reading by the way).

Endurance, Im not sure you can truly value something you have not been conditioned to do, ( or at least something your not USED to doing) because you havent done it yet. You may know there should be some value to it, but if you havent experienced positive results (reinforcement) from it im not sure its going to replace those old values that have had lots of years of positive reinforcent (long hours etc bring me closer to my financial (or whatever) goals).

Also lets face it its not finding a great relationship that we all value (or want) it having one. But to have one you gotta find it first, i.e. meet people,circulate etc. Its seems to me that finding one is below your work choices in terms of your priorities. Having one may be higher on the list, but if you dont want to find one, then its unlikely youll have one

I think if your going to make this work, your going to have to take control and manage the change in your priorities, rahter than make a descision and assume your subconscious will automatically re order your priorities.

There is a book i read once caleed something like managing change in fast moving times (or some equally positive title, by someone from the A robbins clan) It was bit glam and superficial in places, but there where some good strategies for creating change that goes against old ideas.

Alternatively I may have got the wrong end of the stick and be talking utter rubbish (something that happens with a worrying frequency!)

Nick

I too have this problem but not with laundry, my problem is with my bookkeeping. We (hubby & I) run a home based business and it's my job to do the bookkeeping.

I hate bookkeeping, I'm mathematically challenged. I will do anything to avoid sitting down and tackling the books. Avoidance is my middle name. The thing is ... once I actually sit down and begin, it takes me "forever" to figure out what to do. :confused:

Then if and when there are interruptions, which there always are, I have to start all over again to figure out where I was before I was interrupted and what I need to do. I even get the shakes when I'm trying to begin, sometimes I even cry. To me, math, numbers and stuff like that is terrifying. My stomach does summersaults, flip-flops and I get nauseous.

It's worse when I have to gather up all my paperwork and put it away because company is coming or I need the space to do our "other work".

Any ideas on how I can improve this situation? We can't afford to hire someone to do the books. I'm always late filing our taxes because my books are never ready to give to the tax preparer. HELP ... ! :banghead:

There's a really simple method for me (to avoid procrastination).

Each night, I'll write out a list of things that need to be done, e.g. exercise session, learn French, finish report etc. Then I'll look at my daily schedule, and find suitable holes for them.

8am: exercise for 40 minutes.
3pm: finish the report by 4pm.
8pm: learn French for 30 minutes.

Now there's no real magic here. I just say to myself that I HAVE to do them AT the time stated. Believe me, when it's 7.55am, I am NOT looking forward to the exercise. But I scheduled it, and I KNOW it's the right thing to do, even if I hate it.

If you get through a few weeks of keeping that kind of schedule, and fulfilling your time block associations (NEVER reschedule unless absolutely necessary!), then you'll find it becomes second nature. You start dispatching chores with ease.

Keep in mind also that in many instances, procrastination is caused by a mental block or resistance to fulfilling necessities, especially ones that appear in ambiguous form on a "To Do" list. I used to have a huge problem with this.

There's a book on the market written by David Allen and titled "Getting things done: the guide to stress-free productivity" that talks about this concept in detail.

The problem most people make is they put projects they want to accomplish on their "To Do" list instead of actions. For instance, if my goal is getting in shape and I write "get in shape" on my to do list, I'm inevitably setting myself up for failure because you can't "get in shape," it's not an action. More appropriate would be "exercise for X minutes" or "Lift weights" or even better "perform 10 sets to failure on X muscle group". This way, the things you're doing are tangible and doable.

If you don't believe me, try it! Look over your list and see how many of your items actually begin with an ACTION VERB. I guarantee you'll feel much better if you work off lists that are made up of short, quick, and concise actions that can be finished very quickly - in one sitting. That way, you can keep a very long list of projects moving along in your daily schedule and actually WANT to get back to work.

Cheers and go kick some ass.

You guys are cracking me up. The laundry thread is like 20 responses long, LOL. Anyway, the only way to really fight procrastination is through self-discipline, and that takes practice to develop. I recommend Harris Kern's book "Discipline: Training the Mind to Manage your Life"

Me procrastinate? Never!

Just kidding! Whenever I find myself getting tempted to procrastinate I ask myself what the secondary gains of that procrastination might be.
Secondary gains are the unacknowledged benefits we derive from a particular activity or way of thinking. Say for example: smoking. I know it is unhealthy to smoke. But what does smoking give me?

Once I have identified the secondary gains, I then proceed to identify how I can get the same benefits using a more resourceful approach.

Typically I will ask myself:"At the core of it, what purpose is my procrastination attempting to serve? How can the same purpose be served constructively or resourcefully?"


Try it, it works.

What do you guys do to stop procrastinating?

I tend to put off stopping procrastinating until later. :rolleyes:

What works for you?

I too have this problem but not with laundry, my problem is with my bookkeeping. We (hubby & I) run a home based business and it's my job to do the bookkeeping.

I hate bookkeeping, I'm mathematically challenged. I will do anything to avoid sitting down and tackling the books. Avoidance is my middle name. The thing is ... once I actually sit down and begin, it takes me "forever" to figure out what to do. :confused:

Then if and when there are interruptions, which there always are, I have to start all over again to figure out where I was before I was interrupted and what I need to do. I even get the shakes when I'm trying to begin, sometimes I even cry. To me, math, numbers and stuff like that is terrifying. My stomach does summersaults, flip-flops and I get nauseous.

It's worse when I have to gather up all my paperwork and put it away because company is coming or I need the space to do our "other work".

Any ideas on how I can improve this situation? We can't afford to hire someone to do the books. I'm always late filing our taxes because my books are never ready to give to the tax preparer. HELP ... ! :banghead:

Snowbird, I think the first thing you should work on is from this statement...

"I hate bookkeeping, I'm mathematically challenged."

That is the image you have in your mind for that task. As long as you have this image, it will be true. What are you doing to change this feeling? As long as you do the same thing, you will get the same results. Now flip that statement around and say..."I love bookkeeping and I'm strong in Math!" What will happen if you keep telling yourself this, is that you will eventually begin to believe it. It will become a goal and you will automatically find ways to reach your goal without even noticing. It might mean studying the subject, get a coach to learn tricks of the trade, or some other idea you will come up with. You have to see yourself succeed. Visualize how good it would feel to be able to do the task effortlessly. Persistence is key!

Also, if interuption give you a real headache, try to eliminate them. Turn the phone off, do the bookkeeping when you can concentrate 100% of your toughts to the task. This will help making it more manageable. Once you get better at it and take control, you will be able to accept more and more interuptions without loosing it.

Also try to focus on the result rather than the task.

Here's a comparison. I could never loose weight because I hated to exercise. I'm an active person but not on a regular basis so I could not control my weight. Everything changed the day I started to focus on the result of being at my ideal weight. I visualized myself thin and healthy. I started to write down small goals and every morning when the alarm goes off and I start thinking of how I don't want to exercise, I catch myself and switch to the positive image of being thin. Guess how long it takes me to get out of bed?
;)

Think about it -- if you postpone your most important task, it hangs over your head all day, weighing you down with dread and guilt. If you knock it off first thing in the morning, the relief buoys you up all day long, literally energizing and boosting your productivity as you tackle the rest of the items on your to-do list.

(I think it is Tom Hopkins' phrase) I must do the most productive thing at any given moment. I have this on my wall at work. At times when I start to procrastinate, or do something other than swallowing the frog, I look up and suddenly realize that I am cheating myself.

I was going to start a club for pessemistic procrastinators today, but I figured no one would want to join, so I have decided to wait.

Regards,

Lane
BecomeMotivated.com

(I think it is Tom Hopkins' phrase) I must do the most productive thing at any given moment. I have this on my wall at work. At times when I start to procrastinate, or do something other than swallowing the frog, I look up and suddenly realize that I am cheating myself.

I was going to start a club for pessemistic procrastinators today, but I figured no one would want to join, so I have decided to wait.

Regards,

Lane
BecomeMotivated.comLane your too good. Have you got a ring on your finger? ;)

Lane your too good. Have you got a ring on your finger? ;)

David...
hmm... I never met a woman with that name before. :tiphat:

Perhaps I should update my profile (I thought I did). I am male.

Thanks for the proposal, though. :)

David...
hmm... I never met a woman with that name before. :tiphat:

Perhaps I should update my profile (I thought I did). I am male.

Thanks for the proposal, though. :)Oooops I'm sorry Sir. I thought Lane was a Womans name. :o

Oooops I'm sorry Sir. I thought Lane was a Womans name. :o

I used to know a girl named Laine.
I always wanted to date her so I knew what it was like to say "Oh, Laine, I love you." LOL

This has always been my problem. I find it hard to stop procrastinating and that is why I am in the situation I am in now. You know, the underpay job, living at home with mom etc. The list just keeps going.

I need to read the rest of this forum to see what others have said about the procrastinating thing. Good topic.



What do you guys do to stop procrastinating?

I tend to put off stopping procrastinating until later. :rolleyes:

What works for you?

Here are a few quick tips on overcoming procrastination. I'm sure there are many, many more. And by the way, Brian Tracy's newsletter of time management at http://www.briantracy.com has some good stuff as well.

http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/stressprocrast.shtml

Enjoy,

Lee

Hey Lee,

thanks for the websites, they are very helpful.

Here are a few quick tips on overcoming procrastination. I'm sure there are many, many more. And by the way, Brian Tracy's newsletter of time management at http://www.briantracy.com has some good stuff as well.

http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/stressprocrast.shtml

Enjoy,

Lee

Hey Lee,

thanks for the websites, they are very helpful.

Most welcome, of course!

Lee

What do you guys do to stop procrastinating?

I tend to put off stopping procrastinating until later. :rolleyes:

What works for you?

The best thing to do is to develop willpower and self disciplne. This is not so difficult as most people think.

When willpower and self disciple get stronger, it becomes easier to make decisions and follow them, and of course to stop procrastinating.

The trick is to start with small actions that do not need too much effort, and gradually perform actions that require more willpower and self disciplne.

What do you guys do to stop procrastinating?

I tend to put off stopping procrastinating until later. :rolleyes:

What works for you?

Procrastination:

In Napoleon Hill's book, Think And Grow Rich, he listed Procrastination #8 of the 31 major causes of failure.

“Old Man Procrastination” Stands Within The Shadow Of Every Human Being, Waiting For His Opportunity To Spoil One’s Chances Of Success. Most Of Us Go Through Life As Failures Because We Are Waiting For The “Time To Be Right” To Start Doing Something Worthwhile. Do Not Wait; The Time Will Never Be “Just Right.” Start Where You Stand, And Work With Whatever Tools You May Have At Your Command, And Better Tools Will Be Found As You Go Along.

From my book, Sussessercising - The Science of Success Achievement