Sometimes I think the woman I've loved will never mean anything but misery to any man.

Sometimes I think the woman I've loved will never mean anything but misery to any man.


Hey BR,

Does that mean that you are no longer with her? :hmm:

^ Well, for the moment. I think it's funny when she gets mad huffin' and puffin,' swinging at me. And she gets mad when I try to make jokes about her situation. She's stuck in a deadend job and resorts to ask me to help her, but I can't help her at the moment. My money is too tied up. Maybe next year.

Perhaps there's someone else out there who would be better suited for you. Bottom line: If both of you are not 100% committed to each other and aligned with the majority of your values, the relationship cannot move forward.

Dude, I've spent years and years recycling the same guys....breaking up and getting back together with the same 5 guys (not all at once, obviously) and I've done that for literally two decades. One of them in particular is a guy I've known and loved for 23 years. He's absolutely PERFECT for me, and I'm PERFECT for him. Except for the deal-breaker issue....he abuses alcohol on a daily basis. He's an MBA, has a fantastic job in the biotech field, he has a wicked sense of humor, he works out daily, he's extremely intelligent, amazingly musically/vocally talented, politically astute, fabulous cook, excellent sexual partner, and he loves me to pieces. But the drinking is on my MUST AVOID list and so I just had to let him go and resolve to be the best friend he could ever hope for. We've never had an argument in all these years. We laugh so hard we piss our pants. And we have the best sex ever. BUT, he has to be drunk to perform, and his tolerance is so high that you can't even tell he's drunk. I don't drink at all any more. I'll have some wine when I go to visit him, but "some wine" for me is half a glassful.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but it's OK to love someone lots and lots and still let them go so you can find the one who's really right for you.

I've spent nine years recycling the SAME guy :eek2: This is why I look like that!

.... but it's OK to love someone lots and lots and still let them go so you can find the one who's really right for you.

Profound. And it stabbed me right in the heart.

I'm networking for a new love for life sure enough. She won't be sold to me, but it might happen quick, due to me knowing her sister and brother-in-law fairly good. She's a Real woman and sooo beautiful with long brunette hair. I still don't know her very well, though, but if she's anything like her sister, I'll love her. The one I've loved for the past year was a cute blond and very special to me, but I guess I'll find out Monday if what was between us is truly dead in the water, forever. I'm certainly a better person because of her, though, and for that I thank her. She's throwing away true happiness with both arms for something that could never make her happy, but maybe this is God telling me to move on to better things with someone much more stable, yet traditional. She has a friend who might be jealous, but I have a friend for that friend, so, we'll just have to let it all play out.

I needed to hear myself say it too, Awake. For me, it means that the fear is gone and I am ready to move forward, carrying with me the love I have for "the one that got away".....does that make sense?

I needed to hear myself say it too, Awake. For me, it means that the fear is gone and I am ready to move forward, carrying with me the love I have for "the one that got away".....does that make sense?

Yup

Open your heart - feel the fullness within. If the woman is meant to be with you - she will be. If not seet her free and if she comes back to you - great!

Shine within so this woman can see the real you!

I'm networking for a new love for life sure enough. She won't be sold to me, but it might happen quick, due to me knowing her sister and brother-in-law fairly good. She's a Real woman and sooo beautiful with long brunette hair. I still don't know her very well, though, but if she's anything like her sister, I'll love her. The one I've loved for the past year was a cute blond and very special to me, but I guess I'll find out Monday if what was between us is truly dead in the water, forever. I'm certainly a better person because of her, though, and for that I thank her. She's throwing away true happiness with both arms for something that could never make her happy, but maybe this is God telling me to move on to better things with someone much more stable, yet traditional. She has a friend who might be jealous, but I have a friend for that friend, so, we'll just have to let it all play out.

My suggestion is that you spend some time dating. I think you would benefit from taking 6 months to a year off from looking for Ms. right. Relax and play the field a little. In the meantime, focus on your own hobbies and career development.

Just a little FFT from the FWIWD. :tiphat:
gm

Thanks Coach. I know that you are advising me to slow down. I'm sorry. I can't do that, because I just saw her again today and we can't ever be separated. I've been with her for over a year now in mind, body, and spirit, whether where I am now, 200 miles away, 60 miles away, 40 miles away, 2 feet away. The thought of her, which alone in itself improves me, has kept me going most all of this time.

I reunited with several people today, mostly college acquaintences (employees). They were pleasantly surprised, the look, heh heh, as if they'd seen a ghost:yikes: but they knew of my story through others. It was interesting to hear where everyone was now. There are still more to see, hopefully. I've met more people in the past year than I have in my lifetime and almost all of them have been the best to me. Even the dirty rotten scoundrels I've found strips of good in. Only a handfull have been unredeemable, pure evil, rotten to the core to this point.

My love is here and I was mistaken about her, thank God. How many times have I doubted her?:headshake:

My work today was unlike anything I'd ever done on a weekday. Many obstacles, but we were together again, thank God, if but for a brief moment. I was sad the last couple of days thinking that she had eluded me for good.:headshake: One of these days she'll be mine because she hasn't given up and she knows I'm always with her all this time.

Thanks Coach. I know that you are advising me to slow down. I'm sorry. I can't do that, because I just saw her again today and we can't ever be separated. I've been with her for over a year now in mind, body, and spirit, whether where I am now, 200 miles away, 60 miles away, 40 miles away, 2 feet away. The thought of her, which alone in itself improves me, has kept me going most all of this time.

I reunited with several people today, mostly college acquaintences (employees). They were pleasantly surprised, the look, heh heh, as if they'd seen a ghost:yikes: but they knew of my story through others. It was interesting to hear where everyone was now. There are still more to see, hopefully. I've met more people in the past year than I have in my lifetime and almost all of them have been the best to me. Even the dirty rotten scoundrels I've found strips of good in. Only a handfull have been unredeemable, pure evil, rotten to the core to this point.

My love is here and I was mistaken about her, thank God. How many times have I doubted her?:headshake:

My work today was unlike anything I'd ever done on a weekday. Many obstacles, but we were together again, thank God, if but for a brief moment. I was sad the last couple of days thinking that she had eluded me for good.:headshake: One of these days she'll be mine because she hasn't given up and she knows I'm always with her all this time.

Then again, if you are that sure..... quit diddle-farting around and get married. What are you waiting for? :tiphat:

I've already asked her and she said, "What if?" we got married, then what are we gonna do about money (for our kids etc etc. we were both in the same dead-end company) and said, "baby, it'll just work itself out. Money's not everything" "Love's more important" and she said, "oh yes it (money) is." Well, now, I'm with the best company in our field so the Next time I ask, she'll have to come up with another excuse. I know she will, because, by herself, she is a shinning light and she's afraid of giving up herself to compromise, that her ease of honesty might be diminished in marriage. I promise her that we are the same and that I will hold up my end so that we can both exist together in her as far as the eye can see, forever. She makes me better despite all of her quirkiness/nervousness (as viewed by some others on the outside) from being so honest.

I've already asked her and she said, "What if?" we got married, then what are we gonna do about money (for our kids etc etc. we were both in the same dead-end company) and said, "baby, it'll just work itself out. Money's not everything" "Love's more important" and she said, "oh yes it (money) is." Well, now, I'm with the best company in our field so the Next time I ask, she'll have to come up with another excuse. I know she will, because, by herself, she is a shinning light and she's afraid of giving up herself to compromise, that her ease of honesty might be diminished in marriage. I promise her that we are the same and that I will hold up my end so that we can both exist together in her as far as the eye can see, forever. She makes me better despite all of her quirkiness/nervousness (as viewed by some others on the outside) from being so honest.

Bro, are you sure you want to do this? Whenever I feel something like this happening to me, I usually lay down and try to take a nap until it passes...:biglaugh:

Highschoolrichkid, you kill me:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

Sorry Blockade Runner, I'm so sorry, but I just gotta' say this.

This woman is not your soulmate. Trust me, my friend, your soulmate is out there waiting for you but you can't see her because you've been blinded by someone you are not meant to be with.

Do you believe in God? Or a God? Or Gods? Buddha? Your God is trying to tell you something. Your God is trying to tell you that you haven't met her yet. She is still out there. When you ask her to marry you, she will burst into tears and wrap her arms around you and swear on her life she will love you until the day you die. This person will never do that.

I've been where you are and I thank my God every single day that I never settled with the situation you are in and I found my soulmate.

Please take some advice and take a step back. Someone is looking for you:)

This woman is not your soulmate. Trust me, my friend, your soulmate is out there waiting for you but you can't see her because you've been blinded by someone you are not meant to be with.

Do you believe in God? Or a God? Or Gods? Buddha? Your God is trying to tell you something. Your God is trying to tell you that you haven't met her yet. She is still out there. When you ask her to marry you, she will burst into tears and wrap her arms around you and swear on her life she will love you until the day you die. This person will never do that.

I've been where you are and I thank my God every single day that I never settled with the situation you are in and I found my soulmate.

Please take some advice and take a step back. Someone is looking for you:)


Amen!! :whs:

Great advice!! :whs:

I've already asked her and she said, "What if?" we got married, then what are we gonna do about money (for our kids etc etc. we were both in the same dead-end company) and said, "baby, it'll just work itself out. Money's not everything" "Love's more important" and she said, "oh yes it (money) is." Well, now, I'm with the best company in our field so the Next time I ask, she'll have to come up with another excuse. I know she will, because, by herself, she is a shinning light and she's afraid of giving up herself to compromise, that her ease of honesty might be diminished in marriage. I promise her that we are the same and that I will hold up my end so that we can both exist together in her as far as the eye can see, forever. She makes me better despite all of her quirkiness/nervousness (as viewed by some others on the outside) from being so honest.

Yeah I agree with the last few posters here, especially after reading this above!

If you have already asked her, and she said no... and you are determined to ask her again and expect her to find yet another reason to say no??? Uhm.. you are definately with the wrong girl.... The way you talk about her too... how "she eluded you." Sounds more like a possession to you, the way you talk about her here. Sorry to keep harping on that... but truly you are not meant to be together if she turns down another marriage proposal from you. Not what you want to hear, I know. But that is a sad truth you need to face before you can let this one go. You will find the one you are meant to be with. But it isn't by emotional hostage taking we find love... it is by being open... willing to accept facts. Willing to move on when someone keeps sending you signals that they are distancing themselves from you. We can see those signals, but you are the one who needs to be able to see them.

I am more than willing to bet that if you let her go, and let it be... she will not come back to you in the way that you want. Release her with love....

Like the poem:

If you love something,

set if free...

if it comes back to you
it was meant to be,

If it doesn't come back it wasn't meant to be....

Also - if she cares about you as deeply as you say she does... once you release her , she will come back to you. She will also see you can manage without her. She will see that love is not about being suffocated, but released and loved unconditionally... She will realize it pretty quickly if it was a mistake to go. It sounds to me as if you both have these "ideals" in your heads, but the reality isn't living up to those ideals you have both created. It is easy to get blinded by pretending the problems don't exist or are smaller than we think they are. Have you two tried couples counselling? I am willing to bet that a lot of the issues could be resolved that way....

Just curious BR, how much time have you spent trying to convince her (or yourself) that the two of you should be together?

^ over a year. She's been in 3 long-term relationships before. She didn't respect me before but she built me up alone and in front of others. She is one of the best flirts I've ever seen, but as she's flirting she can slip up and say something that's off-beat, off-the-wall, out there, that may turn off most guys And girls, make people laugh at the inanity. She can be critical of all guys, all people, really. She thinks she's the cutest in Colorado and she is. She's sentimental and all over the place in her preferences and criticisms. This is why I don't take her criticisms for validity or her rejections for signs. She even talks bad about her successful sister, whom I could've gotten a job alongside if I had wanted earlier this year, but I don't like sales. She adores children and thinks that I should drop everything for them, and if I don't, then there's something wrong with me. I'm around them all the time at church, but when they're in their parents' car seatbelted in, I'm not going to go running up to them and go-go-gah-gah them. She's tried to embarrass me and I just think of this and say, "She just doesn't know me. It'll take a lot more than that to embarrass me." I love her, still, because we are bad lots, the both of us. She always says things that mean something (or is mean) to me, that are on my wavelength, and that, I have identified, would keep our love running for a long time and beyond.