this thread has come about from another, and what i think would be interesting, would be from many different perspectives of our members, whose countries,cultures and lives differ on a daily basis.

what is it that we do all have in common?

can we all have a common goal?

don't think about your ideal, or possibilities. go deeper, what realities to we all have?

the obvious - we all breathe.
we all eat and expell our food in the same way.
we are anatomically the same

priorities - FWS food, water, sex. are these our primal needs?
secondary - shelter, safety
belonging/love
acknowledgement/ respect

what else? ther's so much more that i could write, but i open it up to you and look forward to your input.

I think one of the biggest things we all have in common is that in some way or another, we are all seeking happiness. Some are doing it through religion, some through money, some through sex, some through health and fitness.... and the list goes on.

Interesting question. I agree with you Scarlet, that everyone is basically looking for happiness, but often through different means. I also think that nearly everyone wants some basic things apart from the biological needs...Financial security, esteem/respect from peers and loved ones, a sense of accomplishment, to feel attractive, to feel capable or talented in some way.

I know that I am looking for happiness in life, but more then that I am looking for soul satisfaction. I want to feel worthwhile and at the same time have others feel that I am contributing. I want to do this on "my terms" and not on what others think it should be. Sure, I need those material things that we speak of and rightfully so. Money makes the world go round...unless your giving up material ownership as a means to satisfaction. More then my own comforts in life, I want my loved ones to be comfortable and I want to help them get that cause that is a win win situation for me and them.
I want to have respect from my peoples (family, community) but on the other hand I want to feel I have "earned" that respect and do not want it to just be a "given" due to my position in a relationship. (boss, wife, mother)
I know that more then anything I seek the approval of those who matter to me but likewise, I want to feel that on my own terms. This is a tall order and is determined not just by me but by others also. But how I acheive these goals is totally up to me. No one is ever going to be able to afford me satisfaction. It is up to me.
Kerri K
Pittsburgh PA

Welcome to the forum Kerri!

Great post too. :)

i don't think that we should have to earn respect, we should just have it.

it seemed to me as i was reading that you were/are trying to earn approval, a completely different thing. what do you want it for anyway. who are you trying to impress? yourself? others?

requiring approval from others can be a dangerous thing if it is self absorbing.

and i must say, it was a very good post ,as tom has mentioned, look forward to hearing more from you.

i don't think that we should have to earn respect, we should just have it.

it seemed to me as i was reading that you were/are trying to earn approval, a completely different thing. what do you want it for anyway. who are you trying to impress? yourself? others?

requiring approval from others can be a dangerous thing if it is self absorbing.

and i must say, it was a very good post ,as tom has mentioned, look forward to hearing more from you.

I don't group respect and approval in the same catagory. I would agree that requiring approval from others in order to function is very dangerous.

Kerri

I have known people who have been motivated purely through seeking the approval of others (in particular a former workmate). They are always seeking praise and attention, while also avoiding any responsibility or blame for problems they have contributed to create. I think these people have self esteem problems and are dependant on other people's praise for their self worth.

I agree with Tom that we are all seeking appreciation and respect from others, but if our self esteem is in the hands of what other people think of us, then serious problems will arise.

I liked the movie "Big Fish" and I want to be as successful in life and eventually in death as Edward Bloom. He had a pretty good gig with helping himself while he helped others.
It is like he had love, adventure, respect and approval. He positively touched many in his journey of life.... Of course that is a movie....

I can respect someone and not approve of their methods. I know that respect isn't always hand in hand with approval. Much respect comes with fear. Catholic religion could come under that.
I can earn respect even when there could be some who might not like my motives or my MO. I use this loosely... but as in the current president. Whom I personally have no respect or approval for...
but there are alot of folks who do even if they don't support some of his efforts. Not everyone approves of everything that someone else does. That is where they use that "can please some of the people some of the time, but not all the people all the time"
Ask anybody in an intimate relationship.
I love and respect my husband but sometimes I don't approve of what he is into. I do think that over time respect can be lost for someone when you don't approve of their MO but usually it would have to be a continual ongoing disapproval to lose the respect.

Just a thought
Kerri

[QUOTE=endeavour]i don't think that we should have to earn respect, we should just have it. [QUOTE] I think that in order to have respect, we must offer and GIVE respect first, no matter the other parties stand.

I liked the movie "Big Fish" and I want to be as successful in life and eventually in death as Edward Bloom. He had a pretty good gig with helping himself while he helped others.
It is like he had love, adventure, respect and approval. He positively touched many in his journey of life.... Of course that is a movie....



Sounds like this movie is definitely worth seeing. I will have to check it out. I haven't seen an inspiring movie in quite some time.

Sounds like this movie is definitely worth seeing. I will have to check it out. I haven't seen an inspiring movie in quite some time. Do you own a DVD player? :confused: I watch an Inspiring or Funny movie a couple times a week! ;)

Last one, 2 nights ago - Contact with Jodie Foster

It's so Beautiful ...... I had no idea ...... They should have sent a Poet.

I liked the movie Contact also. I liked the BIG question that it posed with If they were to send a alien ambassidor into space would you have the representative of all earth people come off with religion or with science. I'm glad that God worked in a mysterious way and killed off the first guy so that Jody Foster (the sciencetist) could go. She deserved to go since she made first contact. What comes around goes around...

I think one of the most inspirational movies I seen has been Forest Gump. And I also like Good Will Hunting.

And for some kick butt, bad guys gets it good... Boondock Saints. All those are older movies and cheap to rent or easy to find on a download.

Kerri

thankyou manta for helping me balance my perception, and i agree with you.

i once said to a friend (a professor of humanities at a leading university, we were drinking buddies) "there are so many stupid people around" and his reply was "there are so many people with different challenges"

so simple really, you just have to look at some things from another perspective. but where do you get that perspective from? forums like these are really very helpful as opinions on the net tend to flow very freely.

and kerrie, i've got to go see the big fish! thanks for that.