I have been thinking about this for a while... What does it mean to love someone?

And I know it's not like I am asking a super original question or anything, but, my ex-boyfriend once said that "You can't truly love someone whom you don't really know."

I disagreed - I think you can love someone even if you don't know them well. Yes, you may be just loving an idea of them, or a part of them that they show you. But even if so, does that make your love untrue?

What does it mean to know somebody well anyway? Does anyone even know themselves well? We ourselves change all the time to begin with. And some people change drastically!!

It's funny because the people I love the most in this world - my parents and my sister... Who are by no means perfect (but who is) - I know so little of them - especially now when we live so far away from each other, and it's been like that for years. I don't know what goes on in their day-to-day lives and yet I am crazy about those three people. If I can be sure of one thing in this world, it is that I feel real love for them. And they have all been changing so much...

When you truly, deeply, love somebody, what about them do you exactly love?

I'm confused :(

Your ex has an odd sense of what love is, but that happens alot.

Love is high regard and affection for another. Simple, no? It does not define the parameters of the characteristics that the lover can/should have that high regard for. In other words you don't have to love something "about" the other person/animal/thing/pet rock. You can just love them and not know a thing about them. It's as easy as breathing in and out. You can even love someone when you hate everything "about" them (See: forgiveness). You can love them and not be able to live with them. You can love them and never see them again.

Loving is always the easy part, remembering you love them when they have cracked up your car/spent all the money at the track/used your favorite lipstick to color with is the hard part.

Keep thinking about love, it's the good stuff.

Heheheheheheh............What is love..... this could be a philosophy course!!




Define your terms, please; because I love my wife and my daughters and my dogs and my Martin guitar.......... but I love them all differently.;)

This could be looooooonnnnnnnggggggg thread, I think..:biglaugh:

Your ex has an odd sense of what love is...
Hahaha, you have no idea ;)

Loving is always the easy part, remembering you love them when they have cracked up your car/spent all the money at the track/used your favorite lipstick to color with is the hard part.
Yes, that brings me to another question - if love is so special then how come it can be so fickle? I have heard a mother say she doesn't love her child when she was angry at him and that was a horrible thing to hear. And I am sure when she calmed down she "loved" her child again.

Define your terms, please; because I love my wife and my daughters and my dogs and my Martin guitar.......... but I love them all differently.;)
LOL, well I think when you love different people (and objects) it's all different kinds of feelings mixed with the "love" feeling but in the end love is (in varying degrees) one persistent thing towards all those...

I guess I was referring to people, and mostly very close relationships, when love is really overpowering, such as family members or other people who are very significant to you.

I'm not sure if I'm on the right track here but I thought I'd throw in my two cents worth. Personally, I think there are two kinds of love. There is that infatuation period where love can be pretty crazy and then there is the unconditional love, something that can only be created over time. Infatuation is a tough one to judge. Every emotion in the body is peaking in a big way and the crashes can be brutally painful. But, should the relationship reach the period for unconditional love, the feelings take hold and become stronger and much more mature. I've experienced both and I'll take unconditional love any time.

Stephen Covey said it best in 7 habits when he stated that the reason for his successful 30-40 year marriage was because he chose to stay in unconditional love and once he made that decision, he has remained in love.:)

Hahaha, you have no idea ;)

I have heard a mother say she doesn't love her child when she was angry at him and that was a horrible thing to hear. And I am sure when she calmed down she "loved" her child again.

This...I don't understand??!!:hmm:
My Love for my Children has been unconditional, I cannot comprehend it any other way.

This...I don't understand??!!:hmm:
My Love for my Children has been unconditional, I cannot comprehend it any other way.


me neither. I feel like I love my daughter too much at times, even when I am angry.

I have been thinking about this for a while... What does it mean to love someone?

When you truly, deeply, love somebody, what about them do you exactly love?

I'm confused :(

This is a complicated question! :hmm:

When I love someone, whether its my mom, my best friend, my brother, or my boyfriend....I don't know that is a particular quality about them that I love, but its more the sense of loyalty that comes with that level of relationship. They represent security, certainty.

I may not love the way my mom taps her fingernails on the steering wheel when she drives, and I may not love how my friend dresses, or how my brother farts in the car.....but I love the connection I have with them. The bond, the loyalty. That feeling that no matter what happens in the world, we will always be there for each other.

me neither. I feel like I love my daughter too much at times, even when I am angry.

Ditto!

Stephen Covey said it best in 7 habits when he stated that the reason for his successful 30-40 year marriage was because he chose to stay in unconditional love and once he made that decision, he has remained in love.:)

Now that's a question I've been pondering for some time...can we, as adults, truly love a spouse or significant other unconditionally?

Well........ yes.

Unconditional means just that. Even if you decide to not be with them because of addictions/choices/cultures/whatever, you could still love them.

Because if love is conditional- it isn't love. its fondness, or infatuation, or obligation- but not love. IMO, of course.

Personally, I think there are two kinds of love. There is that infatuation period where love can be pretty crazy and then there is the unconditional love, something that can only be created over time.

Have you ever been infatuated with someone without feeling love for them??

I can't quite separate the two in my mind.

How would you define "unconditional love"? Does it mean you'd never leave that person no mater what they do or how they change, or does it mean that you may leave them but you'll love them still anyway?

And if you're infatuated, but decide to leave someone because they did you wrong, does that mean you stopped feeling infatuated?

What's the difference really...?!

This...I don't understand??!!:hmm:
My Love for my Children has been unconditional, I cannot comprehend it any other way.

Yeah I know :-(

The bond, the loyalty. That feeling that no matter what happens in the world, we will always be there for each other.
Have you felt that way for a man, and then later felt otherwise?

Do you think it is possible for that to happen with someone in your family? The way you love them now, to one day not? All that certainty...

What if you one day find out that someone you love dearly (say your brother) has been sadistically killing young babies and cutting them into pieces? I know it's a crazy thing to imagine, and I am sure it would never ever happen, but, hypothetically... would you still stand by him??? Would you tell anyone??

me neither. I feel like I love my daughter too much at times, even when I am angry.
:-)

Unconditional means just that. Even if you decide to not be with them because of addictions/choices/cultures/whatever, you could still love them.
Because if love is conditional- it isn't love. its fondness, or infatuation, or obligation- but not love. IMO, of course.
Now that's a question I've been pondering for some time...can we, as adults, truly love a spouse or significant other unconditionally?
Please tell me guys what do you mean by loving "Unconditionally"???

Does it mean that we'll never leave that person no matter what they decide to do to us and however they treat us?

And if not, if it just means we'll leave them but still love them, then what's so special about it - and what's the certainty and security of being loved unconditionally?

And what's the good in being loved unconditionally anyway? I think love SHOULD be conditional. You can't walk around thinking you can do whatever you want and expect people to love you just cuz you're special. You should earn the love you receive, every day.

I think that with the Love for a significant other you also need to consider the Love you have for yourself. It has been said that in order to truly Love someone else you need to Love yourself so perhaps the "unconditional" part should apply to yourself. (I know that is the hardest of all at least for me!) But what I am saying is that I Love my husband "unconditionally" but he is also "Worthy" of the Love I have for him. He treats me with dignity and respect and Loves me back in the same way.

If your significant other is abusive or mean or cheats or makes you hurt in ANY WAY he/she is not worthy of your great Love. And your own unconditional Love for yourself and your own self-respect should demand someone who is worthy of your great Love.

Love between partners needs to be honorable and respectful to both parties. (That needs to be the condition of unconditional!) Love between partners needs to allow each party to live and grow and become all they can be individually and together as a team (therefore eliminating "controllers" they are not worthy of the Great Love).

In my past I have been infatuated but the feeling just wasn't right. We were always fighting the current and never swimming downstream together.

I'm not a big believer in opposites attract because too many people I know are always butting heads and never achieving anything. I feel that two people, even if they argue or disagree, need to be swimming downstream together.

Once my wife and I got married, I decided that on that day, it would be unconditional love with mutual respect however. As an example, my unconditional love would stop if my wife had an affair. 'Then it isn't unconditional' I hear people say. You might be right. But until something happens that shows a serious lack of respect and dignity as human beings, the love is offered unconditionally.

If someone doesn't have that feeling, then I don't think they've found their soulmate. I see an awful lot of people trying too hard to make something work when it just isn't meant to be.

Great post!!! Got me thinking.

When you truly, deeply, love somebody, what about them do you exactly love?

For me, it's about the energy, about the soul of the person I love. In your opening post, you mentioned loving your sister even though you're far away and you don't know much about her day-to-day life. The same is true for me. My sister lives 5 hours away and has a totally different life than I have. But when I speak with her, I feel our energy come together and we co-create our relationship from that feeling. It's not that we have much in common at all, but we know each other at the level of the soul. We accept each other. I can feel how happy she is in her life, and she can feel the same about me. :loveit:

I also liked your "first" first impression vs. "second" first impression post in the other thread as well...I totally agree with you on that. :D

Now that's a question I've been pondering for some time...can we, as adults, truly love a spouse or significant other unconditionally?I'll take Mr Coveys ststement one step further ..... Unconditional Love is not only a choice, it is a State of BEing.

so Yes ..... We Can,

1 - Decide
2 - Choose
3 - BE

I'll take Mr Covey's statement one step further ..... Unconditional Love is not only a choice, it is a State of BEing.

so Yes ..... We Can,

1 - Decide
2 - Choose
3 - BE

This is sooooo true. Thanks for sharing this "Recipe for Unconditional LOVE!"

I love people who have already left this world and what they've left behind in remembrance of them whether they knew that they were doing it or not. I love what they stood for, for the tales they told for the children to pass it on. Those who have kept that torch lit is who I love. Those who have lost their way I still love, but are harder to love because they are not connected to anything of true value, yet.