I met this guy at work a while back and I must say that I had a poor first impression of him.

He was
- abrupt
- on the edge of abrasive
- humorless
- just over all uptight corporate type

over the months I have been forced into working with this guy on some significant projects at work. And this guy is one of the most prouctive guys I have ever met. He is accountable, he communicates better than 90% of the people I know and he really 'is not' any of those things I thought he was.

Which made me wonder

Are you the kind of person that takes the first impression and runs with it or do you allow a person a little time so you can get to really know them?

I must admit - I need to work on not being so much of a first impression person... This guy and a few folks here have proven to me that the first impression approach isn't the best for me.

Your thoughts?

I'm the type of person that allows some time to go by before I begin to judge. I had the same experience with a co-worker who just started working in my office about a year ago. At first I wanted to wring her neck but I figured I'd give it time before I killed her and now we're very close :)

I figured I'd give it time before I killed her... LOL!! Good thing ya did, or you wouldn't likely be posting here ('course I've heard prisoners do have access to the internet.)

A first impression is what it is - only a FIRST impression and a person cannot change it. Kind of like a reaction - it is what it is. That's not to say a person cannot form another opinion of a person once they've gotten to know them. I've heard it said too many times that that is the most important impression to make, which is too bad because it can be so misleading. I consciously keep my mind open so I can get to know the person better.

I'm often on the receiving end of bad first impressions in forums. :D So I can relate.

But I give people the benefit of the doubt. I like to peel a few layers before I judge most of the people I meet. If they are atrocious and obviously not interested in spending the time it will take to get to that point, I shrug it off and move on.

Jennifer

First impressions are important, but they aren't the end all and be all, in my mind. Some people just don't make good first impressions. I usually do, in person at least. But one can't get too cocky or comfortable with that either. I can be like a cameleon (sp?) and fit into any group I want to fit into. I know some people who make horrible first impressions and turn out to be great people... so you just never know! I think it is better to reserve judgement until you have had time to get to know someone better.... :yup:

You got me thinking....

I think there are two kinds of "first impression" (at least for me).

The "first" first impression happens within the first moments you see a new person - before you even speak with them. You get a *sense* of them and who they are, and how you can relate to them.

The "second" first impression is when you talk to them and find out more about them by the way they speak, the things they say, the way they behave.

And then over time as you learn more about them you may change your "second" first impression because you may end up finding out much more about them - things that they did not communicate through words or behaviors in the beginning.

I cannot think of ONE instance in my life when my "first" first impression was wrong, and if I try I can probably recall hundreds of instances when my "second" first impression was wrong.

Anyone else have such experience too?

I'm often on the receiving end of bad first impressions in forums. :D So I can relate.

I don't understand that, Jenni. I think :urock: and I thought that right away.

But I give people the benefit of the doubt. I like to peel a few layers before I judge most of the people I meet. If they are atrocious and obviously not interested in spending the time it will take to get to that point, I shrug it off and move on.

See, this is why :urock: : You cut right through the BS. Love it! :loveit:

The notion that FIRST impressions are everything is completely insane!

First impressions is a term used to make people stand out among others in order to be selected or be smiled upon. However first impressions mean zero when the relationship grows.

The notion that FIRST impressions are everything is completely insane!

First impressions is a term used to make people stand out among others in order to be selected or be smiled upon. However first impressions mean zero when the relationship grows.

I agree with this. But that is the paradox. First impressions can be really important in business, in dating etc. Because you may only ever get one chance to make any impression.

I think first impressions are probably on a continuum. You can make a horrible first impression, a neutral one and a great one. I think you should avoid, if you can, making a horrible first impression at least.

But for a great relationship (in any area of your life), I agree... you need to follow up and make good.... that's more important in the long term.

Paul

First impressions are very very important, of course it is up to you to decide what impression you wish to convey, and then how others perceive it is the part you cannot control.

Think of the guy Batman is describing, what if Batman didn't have ''months'' to work with him? What if their encounter was only -a couple of hours, make decision, move on- what are the chances Batman would have made a decision favorable to that person?

People do judge us based on their first impression of us, it's not fair, but they do.

Think of the guy Batman is describing, what if Batman didn't have ''months'' to work with him? What if their encounter was only -a couple of hours, make decision, move on-


I can tell you exactly what would have happened.

I am getting called away from all other projects for the next few weeks, but I have a training session with about 40 people coming this Tuesday....

The only person who is qualified and whom I trust enough to take my place is this guy. When I called him last week to see if he could cover for me he said he would be glad to since 1) He felt he owed me for teaching him the method in the first place 2) Just the fact that I called him honored him so much

So what would have happened? 40 engineers would have to wait until next year to take a pretty critical training

too much info

I can tell you exactly what would have happened.

I am getting called away from all other projects for the next few weeks, but I have a training session with about 40 people coming this Tuesday....

The only person who is qualified and whom I trust enough to take my place is this guy. When I called him last week to see if he could cover for me he said he would be glad to since 1) He felt he owed me for teaching him the method in the first place 2) Just the fact that I called him honored him so much

So what would have happened? 40 engineers would have to wait until next year to take a pretty critical training


Batman.....:urock: :batman: :urock: :batman: :urock:

Batman.....:urock: :batman: :urock: :batman: :urock:


Thats nice - thanks jules :)