I have a question. Does anyone here have thier spouse, partner, etc... on the Vibe?

Do you think it would be helpful in the relationship or harmful or neither?

In a past relationship I told my girlfriend every site I visited and here in return. For a long time after our breakup I had to resist hard not to check what she was writing and I was worried about her spying on what I was writing.

From that I've learnt that you should have some privacy in this area. That's why I would never introduce a girlfriend to this site. Just wouldn't want to risk losing that community over a woman!

To try to balance my argument... I guess it would be beneficial for a relationship in the short-term as you would make friends together.

That said, on a British ice hockey forum I visit, there are several couples. One couple broke up recently and have been making the community miserable to everyone. It can't be helpful to either of them as they both refuse to leave.

My wife loves the fact that I enjoy this place and get so much out of it.

It's not her 'thing' however, which is fine with me. She has many 'things' that aren't my 'thing' if you know what I'm sayin'.

I have a question. Does anyone here have thier spouse, partner, etc... on the Vibe?

Do you think it would be helpful in the relationship or harmful or neither?

I think it depends on the relationship. I DO think there's no need to share everything.....I personally don't feel the need for my boyfriend to be involved in the site.....Just curious though, Joanne, what makes you ask? Are you thinking of turning a significant other onto Vibe?

I might really be off base here and if so, sorry in advance if someone takes this wrong but....

If I were truly into success and being who I say I am here and acting in such a manor that I was not hiding anything then I would feel compelled to have my S.O. here on the board if they were so inclined. My wife is not so inclined.

But if I were not being, in real life, the person I portrayed on the web then it would be in my best interest to hide and protect this alter ego from my S.O.

The real question I guess would be this:
Are you who you say you are and are you acting in such a way that you would expose your SV behavior to your S.O. without reservation?

Its a success board/forum, why would anyone hide that from people they care about unless there was an integrity. shame or confidence issue?

I'm Dave-Vibe-ed 60/40 on this. I don't think it would be such a great idea.

I might really be off base here and if so, sorry in advance if someone takes this wrong but....

If I were truly into success and being who I say I am here and acting in such a manor that I was not hiding anything then I would feel compelled to have my S.O. here on the board if they were so inclined. My wife is not so inclined.

But if I were not being, in real life, the person I portrayed on the web then it would be in my best interest to hide and protect this alter ego from my S.O.

The real question I guess would be this:
Are you who you say you are and are you acting in such a way that you would expose your SV behavior to your S.O. without reservation?

Its a success board/forum, why would anyone hide that from people they care about unless there was an integrity. shame or confidence issue?


Nice going Scooter. I couldn't agree more !
I suppose it depends on the level of the relationship to begin with. If it is an open, honest, trustworthy relationship, and someone is not doing/saying something they shouldn't be, I don't see a problem. However, if there is a need to keep something from your S.O. that's being posted here, there's probably some problems within the relationship to begin with ... trust ...honesty ... betrayal ... at some level, and the problems will manifest themselves in some other way regardless.
KH mentions he would choose the community over a woman, not finding fault with KH, simply using it as an example. I wonder at what level that relationship is at. Let's face it people, the community is great ... ie inspiration, friendships ... whatever it is, But we live in the real world and when it comes right down to it, that significant other better be your priority, again depending on the level of the relationship. If it's a Husband/Wife ... love of your life type deal, well then you better not be hiding anything.
If it's a matter of having your own space, or privacy, well .. that's another matter. Everyone needs time and space and individual interest but never done in a deceiptful manner.
Just my thoughts:)

I think both Scooter and KH Rising make some good points here. While I have told some of my family members and close friends that I post here, I wouldn't necessarily want them all posting here too. This place is my time away from them. Not that they are bad, but everyone needs a little something to call thier own.

My mom was a doll collector. At the time, her hubby had no real friends or hobbies of his own. So he started hunting all the goodwill stores for dolls too. Well he brought home a ton of crap my mom didn't want and was not easily repairable... in the end she ended up resenting him for it.

I think if a "couple" is going to post here as a couple, they should agree there will be no airing of dirty laundry and forcing other posters to "take sides" as it were. That is the only thing that comes to my mind. I see nothing wrong with a couple both being posters at the same site, as long as it is mutual and both enjoy it, both add to the community, etc. Although I admit, I would probably be biased for my female friends in those equations... unless she did something really horrible to the poor guy. LOL. We girls need our female friends to talk to. I could never abandon any of my good friends that way. Guy friends are good to have too though. I think it boils down to - WHO did you know first? The girl or the guy? Who ever I knew longer would probably get my support. Not that it's going to happen... jes saying.... :)

Nice going Scooter. I couldn't agree more !
I suppose it depends on the level of the relationship to begin with. If it is an open, honest, trustworthy relationship, and someone is not doing/saying something they shouldn't be, I don't see a problem. However, if there is a need to keep something from your S.O. that's being posted here, there's probably some problems within the relationship to begin with ... trust ...honesty ... betrayal ... at some level, and the problems will manifest themselves in some other way regardless.
Just my thoughts:)

Question - Do you feel compelled to discuss everything with your significant other? I'm just curious.....I hear different things from different people and the subject always interests me.

Question - Do you feel compelled to discuss everything with your significant other? I'm just curious.....I hear different things from different people and the subject always interests me.

The subject is of interest to me also ... very interesting.

Maybe what I was attempting to say didn't come across the way I had intended it to.

No - I do not feel compelled to discuss everything with my S.O. Actually I am quite protective of her well being on all levels, as a result I use a great amount of care and discretion in what I bring to the table for discussion. I did mention that people need thier own individual interest and privacy. That being said, there is NOTHING I would be unwilling to discuss with her, especially anything that could affect the relationship.

I think it depends on the relationship. I DO think there's no need to share everything.....I personally don't feel the need for my boyfriend to be involved in the site.....Just curious though, Joanne, what makes you ask? Are you thinking of turning a significant other onto Vibe?

I've already turned my S.O. onto the Vibe. So far it's been a pretty interesting experience.

Hubby knows I chat here but he isn't inclinded to join. He's busy being successful, among other hobbies. :D

Jennifer

No - I do not feel compelled to discuss everything with my S.O. Actually I am quite protective of her well being on all levels, as a result I use a great amount of care and discretion in what I bring to the table for discussion.

I don't mean to get too personal, but can you elaborate on this? Do you mean something like - On the way home from work you witnessed a car hitting a dog, but your S.O. is a huge dog person so you don't tell her because you know how much it would upset her? Or are you referring to more sensitive things.
Please feel free to tell me if it's none of my business. I'm obviously trying to navigate my own relationship and am endlessly curious as to what works for different people.

I don't mean to get too personal, but can you elaborate on this? Do you mean something like - On the way home from work you witnessed a car hitting a dog, but your S.O. is a huge dog person so you don't tell her because you know how much it would upset her? Or are you referring to more sensitive things.
Please feel free to tell me if it's none of my business. I'm obviously trying to navigate my own relationship and am endlessly curious as to what works for different people.

:hmm: yes ... and .... yes

:hmm: yes ... and .... yes

Ok, if something happens that upsets you and is perhaps worrying you (not relationship related) but you know telling her would upset her, then you just keep it to yourself or perhaps discuss it with someone else?

I've already turned my S.O. onto the Vibe. So far it's been a pretty interesting experience.

How so?

I won't let my wife use the internet.

I won't let my wife use the internet.

:rofl:

:biglaugh:

I won't let my wife use the internet.
Afraid she'll see some of your pics? :lildevil:

We have four family members on the Vibe and TR sites. I'm the only one who regularly posts and, with me posting under my real name, it keeps me well behaved. :p

Upside - it gives us lots to share and a common mindset.

Downside - can't gripe about each other! :D

I might really be off base here and if so, sorry in advance if someone takes this wrong but....

If I were truly into success and being who I say I am here and acting in such a manor that I was not hiding anything then I would feel compelled to have my S.O. here on the board if they were so inclined. My wife is not so inclined.

But if I were not being, in real life, the person I portrayed on the web then it would be in my best interest to hide and protect this alter ego from my S.O.

It's very telling to me when someone changes their behaviour radically depending on where they are and who they're with.
The real question I guess would be this:
Are you who you say you are and are you acting in such a way that you would expose your SV behavior to your S.O. without reservation?

Its a success board/forum, why would anyone hide that from people they care about unless there was an integrity. shame or confidence issue?

Right on. Which is why I post under my real name. If I want to hide who's saying it, then why am I saying it? And, why would I act in such a way that I'd want to hide my actions from my SO? Then how can I know it's really me he's in love with? He'd be relating to some mask I've created to win his approval.

I think the world we create for ourselves gets very complicated very quickly when we wear different masks. We start losing touch with ourselves and others. We stop being able to trust our relationships, because we, ourselves, have become untrustworthy. And we don't really know what kinds of relationships we really have - like who really cares for us for ourselves. What a tangled web...

K.I.S.S. rule applies.

Afraid she'll see some of your pics? :lildevil:

yes... they are everywhere - it's insane! lol :D

I won't let my wife use the internet.

That was great! Seriously Coach, thanks for the laugh!!!

Classic.

-CP

Originally Posted by Corinne Friesen
Afraid she'll see some of your pics?


Nah......... In my case, I'm worried I'll see some of hers.....:yikes:









j/k:lildevil:

Originally Posted by Corinne Friesen
Afraid she'll see some of your pics?


Nah......... In my case, I'm worried I'll see some of hers.....:yikes:



j/k:lildevil:

haha....:biglaugh:






Want me to send you some?




:joking:

:biglaugh:

Note to self:

1) Obtain Significant Other

2) Find "decoy forum" that we can join together

3) Keep this forum all to myself

4) Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Note to self:

1) Obtain Significant Other

2) Find "decoy forum" that we can join together

3) Keep this forum all to myself

4) Lather, Rinse, Repeat



:biglaugh: Think I might borrow that one!

Note to self:

1) Obtain Significant Other

2) Find "decoy forum" that we can join together

3) Keep this forum all to myself

4) Lather, Rinse, Repeat

I like that :thumb:

How so?

Hmmmm, good question. It lets me see a different side of him.

As Corinne said:

Upside - it gives us lots to share and a common mindset.

Downside - can't gripe about each other! (not that I've had anything to gripe about YET :) )