Here is something I have been trying to get across in this forum that I'm not sure I am accomplishing. It is the basis of my book, "So, Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?" The concept that if you want to be wealthy and you are not wealthy at this point in time, to become wealthy you must change your whole being. It's not just a matter of getting a better paying job or selling more product, if you have your own business. It's not a matter of saving hard. It's not about finding the deal of a lifetime and having your investment skyrocket. It's about changing your attitudes and your emotional responses and your thoughts and actions in all aspects of your life. And it's not about changing them for now and drifting back later, it's about changing them forever!

I keep saying, this is not a 7-day program, a 30-day program or even a 90-day program - it's a rest-of-your-life program.

Well, I received this following piece from Joan Sotkin and she put it so well, I felt compelled to reprint it here. I hope you get the message. Enjoy!


Altering Your Financial Identity

In order to move to an improved financial position, you have to create a new financial identity. If, for example, your financial life is characterized by underearning, constant financial worry, or longing for more and you want to experience abundance and security, your concept of your financial self has to change.

In order to replace financial discomfort of any kind with financial peace and prosperity you have to develop the thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors of a person who always has more than enough and never worries about money.

For many people, this means making major alterations in how they deal with themselves and the world around them. I don't think, for example, that a person who has been underearning for many years, can rapidly evolve into a person who is well-paid or runs a consistently profitable business.

That's why, for the majority of people, prosperity programs don't work in the long run. Altering the characteristics of your financial life takes commitment and conscious attention, over an extended period of time.

You need to know two things: where you are now and where you want to be a few years. Not just financially, but also emotionally. Then you can develop a strategy for gradually altering the thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors that contribute to your current position.

Start by honestly defining where you are now. Perhaps you have already started altering how you deal with money. Start with where you are now, not where you were when you first started changing. Write down how you think and feel about your finances, what beliefs you harbor about what you deserve and what being wealthy means, and how you behave with money.

Then write down how you want to be thinking, feeling, and behaving two years from now. Also choose a realistic goal in terms of increased earnings or net worth. Doing this opens the door to decided which steps you want to take in order to develop your new financial identity.

There is no magic answer and unless you are expecting a large inheritance, no one is going to swoop down and drop a load of money into your life. You have to move in a new direction and planning how you will move is up to you. Once you make the plans, it's up to you to take action.

The Prosperity Quick Tips are posted on my blog, where you can make comments and ask questions. www.JoanSotkin.com


Joan Sotkin is one of my favorite financial gurus - mainly because she agrees with so much of what I say on this subject! Listen to her words - she speaks the truth.

This is a good point and right on target. Having the right mindset is crucial to financial success.

I think people often get off track because they focus on getting from poor to rich all at once. Even in the process of trying to develop the proper mindset they want to think like a millionaire when they can't even pay the rent.

What I encourage people to add to this process is to identify different levels of financial well being along the way to being rich. So, for someone living paycheck to paycheck (a most precarious and unstable situation), the next level would be to attain financial Stability.

Once Stability is reached (where bills are paid on time and a budget is adhered to successfully), the next level would be to attain financial Security. After financial Security (where long term savings and retirement plans are in place as well as job security), the next level would be attaining financial Freedom (where you can do what you want, when you want without the cost being of much concern).

For me personally, working on attaining these different levels has created the lifelong focus that Frederick mentioned.
:tiphat:

Great topic! :thumb:

One issue for me has been the "lag time" that I've had to go through once making the decision to change my identity. I went from a person who used credit frivilously to a person who doesn't use credit at all, but I still had/have the existing debt to deal with. Not a unique situation for certain. It's now been 2.5 years since I decided to give up the habit of using credit. It's been hard sometimes, especially at Christmas. But who I am now is a woman who looks at her bank account and understands that whatever is in there is what I've got to spend, period. And I've actually taken it one step further by landing a wonderful new job which has brought me the biggest pay increase I've had in a decade.

One of my friends tried to get me to sign up for an expensive NLP training course recently and I just said, "No, I would have to borrow the money and I'm not doing that. It can wait until I pay off my vehicle. Period." I had spent years in the "instant gratification" mode and if not that, coming up with great justifications to go ahead and extend myself just a bit more. I'd love to attend the training course but it won't be the last one they offer and I can set a goal to attend it once I can pay for it without getting myself into a pickle. :yup:

Those are some good points, George. The "softly, softly" approach will certainly appeal to many people - and I'm one of them. Many of us will be inclined to take a more gradual and step-by-step approach. Yet, as TR has identified, there are many others who are too impatient for that. They want quick progress and are prepared to take massive action to achieve it.

While I do like the 3-step approach - Financial Stability, Financial Security and Financial Freedom - I must accept that it is possible to change one's mindset over the course of a weekend. I think it is possible to think like a millionaire when you can't even pay the rent.

The point is that the mindset of a millionaire is one of seeking opportunity, finding a way, developing solutions. The poor person who cannot pay the rent sits and mumbles, "Oh, dear! Woe is me! I cannot pay the rent! Life isn't fair! That stupid foreman fired me over nothing! He's a jerk! And the manager is stupid, too!" Whereas the millionaire who finds himself in that position acts differently - Donald Trump was in financial trouble some years ago and couldn't pay his rent, but he still acted like the millionaire that he is. He didn't sit and mumble into his coffee and complain about the market or the bank manager that was harrassing him.

The millionaire says, "Oh, crap! What am I going to do? What have I got I can sell? What service can I offer someone - and who? What do I know that someone else is prepared to pay for? What business can I start to earn some money?" Donald Trump is on record as saying, "If I was starting out today, I would join an MLM program." And I believe he would.

You don't have to have reached financial stability to think like that. You can think that in a moment. I thnk this is what Joan Sotkin was talking about with her "Altering your financial identity."

When she said, "Write down how you think and feel about your finances, what beliefs you harbor about what you deserve and what being wealthy means, and how you behave with money. Then write down how you want to be thinking, feeling, and behaving two years from now," she pretty well described what I have my readers do in my 'Millionaire' book. (Only I have them build 100 of them to make 100 steps towards becoming a millionaire.)

So, I think if one can do the quick change into a new way of thinking, a series of steps and exercises to turn those basic thoughts into specific mind-actions, AND turn them into practical steps from Financial Stability through Financial Security and Financial Freedom, anyone can become as wealthy as they want.

... it won't be the last one they offer and I can set a goal to attend it once I can pay for it without getting myself into a pickle. Great post, Julia. I love to hear the determination in your 'voice.' I hope you are using the method of paying off the smallest balance first - that is surely the way to fastest elimination of debt.

But whatever way you are doing it - Well done!

So, I think if one can do the quick change into a new way of thinking, a series of steps and exercises to turn those basic thoughts into specific mind-actions, AND turn them into practical steps from Financial Stability through Financial Security and Financial Freedom, anyone can become as wealthy as they want.

I see what you mean and agree 100%! :thumb:

I took massive action because I needed to take massive action. The slower I act, the less productive I am.

At some point I looked around at who I knew who were really finanancially successful outside inheritance and found:
1. some were creatives in music or hollywood
2. some started their own businesses
3. some were highly educated doctors or lawyers

and that was it. everyone I knew either inherited money or did one of those things. I already risked things and didn't achieve massive success in entertainment. I always felt I stumbled in my business due to education. Therefore looking at item #3, I decided that I could go back to graduate school by thinking "what is the education level of someone I know making $200k per year?"

but I am lost without massive, immediate action.

I took massive action because I needed to take massive action. The slower I act, the less productive I am.
At some point I looked around at who I knew who were really finanancially successful outside inheritance and found:
1. some were creatives in music or hollywood
2. some started their own businesses
3. some were highly educated doctors or lawyers
and that was it. everyone I knew either inherited money or did one of those things. I already risked things and didn't achieve massive success in entertainment. I always felt I stumbled in my business due to education. Therefore looking at item #3, I decided that I could go back to graduate school by thinking "what is the education level of someone I know making $200k per year?"
but I am lost without massive, immediate action.Good that you took massive action, SS. Here's the point of all that gone before in this thread -- Becoming a millionaire (or being successful by some other measure) may *require* massive action but massive action doesn't guarantee success. There must be lots of people who took massive action but the wrong massive action. By your own statements --

1. some were creatives in music or hollywood - and there were some who didn't become financially successful
2. some started their own businesses - some who started their own business were not successful
3. some were highly educated doctors or lawyers - and some highly educated doctors or lawyers were not successful.

I encourage you to look for the common denominator - What is it that is common to all the people who are financially successful and is not present in people who are not financially successful?

I propose that it is their attitude. The successful ones may have taken massive action, but there are many who took massive action who are not successful. OTOH, those who are financially successful must have had a millionaire's mindset, and those that did not have a millionaire's mindset are not financially successful.

As I have said before - attitude trumps all.

I think people often get off track because they focus on getting from poor to rich all at once. Even in the process of trying to develop the proper mindset they want to think like a millionaire when they can't even pay the rent.



This is a thought provoking thread. I have always thought of myself as poor when it comes to money. Not poor to the extent that Spider is quoting, blaming others and so forth. But when do you actually feel like you are making good money? If I sit back and think, then logically I can say I make good money, but because "good" is so relevant, I have a hard time accepting my financial position.

I am not sure I am making sense here. In other words, I think I have the mindset of many who make a quarter of what I make, (other than the complaining woe is me or life isn't fair part). At what point do you actually feel that you are wealthy? I think I am pretty much at step 3 of Coach's description, but don't feel like I am....so I see I need to change my mindset somehow, or do I? Is there anything wrong with not acting my age, (financially), so to speak?

This is a thought provoking thread. I have always thought of myself as poor when it comes to money. Not poor to the extent that Spider is quoting, blaming others and so forth. But when do you actually feel like you are making good money? If I sit back and think, then logically I can say I make good money, but because "good" is so relevant, I have a hard time accepting my financial position.

I am not sure I am making sense here. In other words, I think I have the mindset of many who make a quarter of what I make, (other than the complaining woe is me or life isn't fair part). At what point do you actually feel that you are wealthy? I think I am pretty much at step 3 of Coach's description, but don't feel like I am....so I see I need to change my mindset somehow, or do I? Is there anything wrong with not acting my age, (financially), so to speak?

If I'm reading this right it sounds like you just aren't satisfied with how much you make. It's possible to make good money, have many of the freedoms money provides, yet still be unsatisfied; probably because you've set your financial goals extremely high. I don't think that's wrong at all.

The only adjustment I suggest is to allow yourself some more time to feel good about where you are, while you continue to work on achieving you goals. In that way you get to appreciate your abundance at every level, and that should allow you to feel a sense of wealth.

Does that make sense?

Yes, that's a good way to put it.

In fact, I would have never said I had a "problem" until I was looking at this thread and thought wait a minute, that's sort of me, but in reverse...(not the millionaire part, but you see what I mean).

I do need to feel better about where I am. The problem is probably that I don't stop and feel anything, as in I don't feel bad, I just hadn't thought about it. I know also there is more than just money when we talk about wealth, but in this thread we're talking money and financial success.

I have asked myself in the more recent past, when will I be happy with the money I am bringing in? That is a tough question for me because I can't come up with a good answer. I know this has to do with me not feeling that I am doing well.

Great post, Julia. I love to hear the determination in your 'voice.' I hope you are using the method of paying off the smallest balance first - that is surely the way to fastest elimination of debt.

But whatever way you are doing it - Well done!

Yes, that's what I'm doing, for more than one reason. Joyce Meyer recommended this method on her show this morning, and I heard it again on John Cummata's radio spot that's been running recently. If it's good enough for Joyce Meyer, it's good enough for me!!

My smallest balance is a loan I took out so I could send my child to Sylvan Learning Center 4 years ago @ $35/hr for tutoring. I'll have it paid off in two shakes of a lamb's tail and then I'll move on to the next one. That's the used car my dad and I bought together 5 years ago so it would be paid off just before my daughter turned driving age. It's still in good shape despite my dad's impromptu stunt-driving audition for "The Dukes of Hazzard" movie a few years back....:yikes:

...in two shakes of a lamb's tail

Did you actually just say that?

:biglaugh: I'm kidding. Kind of....:biglaugh:


Who the hell shakes lambs tails? And why would you shake one? Maybe I'm missing something...

Did you actually just say that?

:biglaugh: I'm kidding. Kind of....:biglaugh:


Who the hell shakes lambs tails? And why would you shake one? Maybe I'm missing something...

"Two shakes of a lamb's tail" is a measurement of time....the time it takes a lamb to shake its own tail twice. :yup:

"Two shakes of a lamb's tail" is a measurement of time....the time it takes a lamb to shake its own tail twice. :yup:

I see. You would have a good answer to that!
:biglaugh:


So how long does it take?

Yes, that's what I'm doing, for more than one reason. Joyce Meyer recommended this method on her show this morning, and I heard it again on John Cummata's radio spot that's been running recently. If it's good enough for Joyce Meyer, it's good enough for me!!...So you had to wait for Joyce Meyer to say it, huh? (Whoever she is!) It wasn't good enough that I said it. I'm hurt! :(

...My smallest balance is a loan I took out so I could send my child to Sylvan Learning Center 4 years ago @ $35/hr for tutoring. I'll have it paid off in two shakes of a lamb's tail and then I'll move on to the next one. ...You'll remember, I hope, the 'secret' to this method - you take what you were paying on the paid off loan and add it to what you were paying on this next one so the amount being paid on the current smallest loan is increased considerably, thus paying it off even faster. You didn't mention it so I thought I would.

I see. You would have a good answer to that!
:biglaugh:


So how long does it take?

depends on how happy the lamb is!! :D

So you had to wait for Joyce Meyer to say it, huh? (Whoever she is!) It wasn't good enough that I said it. I'm hurt! :(

You'll remember, I hope, the 'secret' to this method - you take what you were paying on the paid off loan and add it to what you were paying on this next one so the amount being paid on the current smallest loan is increased considerably, thus paying it off even faster. You didn't mention it so I thought I would.

Yes, that's my strategy. I have it all mapped out on a spreadsheet and I've already set it up automatically to switch to the next thing on the list - I'm smarter than the average bear...:yup:

This is a thought provoking thread. I have always thought of myself as poor when it comes to money. Not poor to the extent that Spider is quoting, blaming others and so forth. But when do you actually feel like you are making good money? If I sit back and think, then logically I can say I make good money, but because "good" is so relevant, I have a hard time accepting my financial position.
I am not sure I am making sense here. In other words, I think I have the mindset of many who make a quarter of what I make, (other than the complaining woe is me or life isn't fair part). At what point do you actually feel that you are wealthy? I think I am pretty much at step 3 of Coach's description, but don't feel like I am....so I see I need to change my mindset somehow, or do I? Is there anything wrong with not acting my age, (financially), so to speak?You had me thinking on two different levels, Sean. 1) Is it better to feel worse off than you are in order to be driven to improve? - the hungry boxer, type thing. Or, 2) is it better to feel wealthy even though you aren't really all that well off?

I think that depends on the individual. If feeling poor drives you to work harder, smarter, longer, then working harder, smarter, longer should improve your financial position faster than not doing so.

OTOH, fretting and fussing and feeling poor is not a good place to be and is not conducive to becoming rich. Feeling confident and capable, friendly and helpful lends itself to greater riches, in my experience. You see, you cannot do this alone. Other people will be involved in your progress. At the simplest level, you have to have customers to sell your stuff to - either sell your abilities to get a better job, or sell your product or service in your own business. And people react to, and buy from, happy, smiling, confident and capable people sooner than from hungry, stressful people. If you decide you need a partner, potential partners are more likely to team up with happy, smiling, confident and capable people than with hungry, stressful people. And so on.

You ask, Sean, When do you actually feel like you are making good money? I suggest "making good money" is not the measure. Because, by putting it in such terms, you make yourself a prisoner of numbers. Even if you don't put a number on it, that's worse, because now you are a prisoner of an undefined number. There's no escape from that!

You also ask, At what point do you actually feel that you are wealthy? I believe you can feel wealthy at any point you choose. First you must discover what Wealth means to you in financial terms. That might not necessarily mean in monetary terms, but (for this thread, anyway) it should be in financial terms. For example, by my definition, I feel wealthy because I have more money than I need and the money I have is being productive. At the minimum, I could lend or invest $1,000 in a friend's business and he pays me back $100/month for 12 months, and I save $20 a month from my paycheck. That satisfies my definition of 'wealthy.' I have more money than I need (the $20 being saved every month) and the money I have is being productive (on two counts - my friend is making a profit with it AND I am earning interest on it.)

So, anyone with that definition of 'wealthy' can feel wealthy very easily. And could become wealthy very quickly, too. Suppose he was to take the $100/month and add it to his savings of $20/month, it would only take him 9 months to have saved another $1,000. Were he to find another friend who wants to borrow $1,000 on the same terms, he now has two friends paying him $100/mo plus his $20 saving = $220/mo. He must re-invest in the first business in 3 months or find another business to invest in. And then find another and another.

There could come a time, not many months into the future, where he has a number of businesses paying him $100 a month for the use of his money. From tiny acorns do giant oak trees grow! All because he felt wealthy enough to invest $1,000 in a friend's small business.

The person with a poor person's mindset would have been afraid to risk what little he had. The "millionaire mindset' opens up a whole new world. Try it!

You ask, Sean, When do you actually feel like you are making good money? I suggest "making good money" is not the measure. Because, by putting it in such terms, you make yourself a prisoner of numbers. Even if you don't put a number on it, that's worse, because now you are a prisoner of an undefined number. There's no escape from that!



I think that right there is exactly what I was struggling to vocalize. Excellent post Spider, and this paragraph specifically is what I was trying to ask for point of views on.

It's funny, because when you are younger you put, (well me anyways), a number on what success would be. For instance $35000 a year. Then it was $50,000 a year. I figured when I hit that I would be doing good. Then the new number becomes $80, $100 and so forth. All of these are just numbers. They are round numbers. In fact, now when I interview people, I very often ask about financial goals in the next 5 years. And it amazes me how many people will say they want to be making $100 a year, 5 years from now. So I always probe into it now. Why? Why $100? Why not $91, or $120? So I learned that numbers are just that, numbers.

Ha ha. Then I ended up in the other scenario you mention, a prisoner to no number. I like that one. I do see your point though spider. And I am not that bad, as in others don't view as being stingy or anything. I am a sales person, so don't have a problem with the image I portray. At the same time, I think I was looking successful in the days of eating Kraft dinner or beans and toast for dinner too! But not many people knew what I was eating at the time! I found hundreds of ways to prepare spaghetti in those years!:biglaugh: I'm sure most of us have done that too!

what beliefs you harbor about what you deserve.



Spider,

Great thread!

This is one area that I have to work on and it all starts with what I believe I deserve financially. :yup:

This is so very, very important since that is actually what I will get. :yup:

Time to change my thought process! :thumb:

And thanks for the link….I have subscribed to Joan Sotkin’s email.

Taz Taz Taz

I posted a really long post that got lost because I went on too darn long...

Oh well...

I guess what I wanted to say is that I've been freaking out about my finances these last few days.

All the more reason to be diligent about putting money in an emergency fund. My brother moving out really put a kink in the gardenhose of my cash flow, but it's not forever. We'll adjust and move forward. We bankrolled his move and he hasn't seen fit to repay us a dime yet....that's the part that I can't control and that I have to accept and get over.

If I can manage to keep my anxiety down to a dull roar, time and diligence will move me to where I need to be. (Does that sound convincing? I'm trying to make myself believe it at the moment.)

If I can manage to keep my anxiety down to a dull roar, time and diligence will move me to where I need to be. (Does that sound convincing? I'm trying to make myself believe it at the moment.)

Oh what a valuable lesson i learned and i will give myself a few months to feel this properly to make sure i don't make the same mistakes again ....sounds much better

Spider,
Great thread!
This is one area that I have to work on and it all starts with what I believe I deserve financially. :yup:
This is so very, very important since that is actually what I will get. :yup:
Time to change my thought process! :thumb:
And thanks for the link….I have subscribed to Joan Sotkin’s email.
The point is, GGG and everyone, this is the ONLY area on which one needs to work. That's what "Millionaire" is about - and Joan Sotkin follows the same pattern I do. Instead of diluting one's effort by working on many things, work on one thing. Focus on one thing. And that one thing is, How you think.

Napoleon Hill didn't call his book "Think and Grow Rich" because it was a catchy title - he called it that because the statement is true. Get your thinking right and you will accomplish whatever you want to accomplish.

Just understand that this isn't something you can do for a few weeks or a few months - it is something you must do for the rest of your life. (Assuming that you want to be rich for the rest of your life.) The good news is, once you have established new constructive habits to replace the old destructive habits, the good ones become just as ingrained and automatic as the old ones were.

The point is, GGG and everyone, this is the ONLY area on which one needs to work. That's what "Millionaire" is about - and Joan Sotkin follows the same pattern I do. Instead of diluting one's effort by working on many things, work on one thing. Focus on one thing. And that one thing is, How you think.

Napoleon Hill didn't call his book "Think and Grow Rich" because it was a catchy title - he called it that because the statement is true. Get your thinking right and you will accomplish whatever you want to accomplish.

Just understand that this isn't something you can do for a few weeks or a few months - it is something you must do for the rest of your life. (Assuming that you want to be rich for the rest of your life.) The good news is, once you have established new constructive habits to replace the old destructive habits, the good ones become just as ingrained and automatic as the old ones were.



Awesome Spider!
Thanks for the pep talk!! :thumb:

The reprogramming of my mind STARTS NOW!!! :yup: