I wasn't sure where this put this under, I figured Challenge Life might be the perfect place since this is considered somewhat of a challenge.

The demons I'm referring to is anxiety and fear. I'm interested in hearing what some of your experiences are with anxiety and how you've dealt with it.

Hi Joanne. Are you referring to anxiety in general? Or about something specific, like anxiety and fear over finding a new career, or anxiety and fear over "settling down", or anxiety and fear over your first mountain climb?

On one hand it matters very much what specifically you're referring to, on the other it doesn't as I think there are common threads to anxiety in general.

On a very "surface" level, I would start the conversation saying that a lot of anxiety can be overcome by just jumping in and doing it. Trying it. Experiencing it. For example, it can be as simple as standing on a cliff about to jump in the water like all your friends just did but you're nervous. Just do it, don't think about it. This can be applied to more complicated and important areas as well.

I just did it anyway. Over time it got easier to just ignore it.

I'm referring to irrational anxiety. Not rational anxiety which is important not to ignore.

Sean, it is something specific.... but isn't all anxiety the same? Aren't the symptoms the same?

I just did it anyway. Over time it got easier to just ignore it.

I'm referring to irrational anxiety. Not rational anxiety which is important not to ignore.


What do you mean by ignore? How did you ignore it?

What do you mean by rational and irrational anxiety?

Sean, it is something specific.... but isn't all anxiety the same? Aren't the symptoms the same?

I'm no expert. Symptoms may be the same, but your question as I read it was more or less looking for advice on how to conquer it, not how to create it! ;)

To conquer it I think is where the specifics come in to play. If it was as simple as jumping off a cliff into the water it's easy to just say jump. If it is stress because your aging grandmother who has Alzheimer's is no longer eating anymore...well then there's a completely different way to attack that anxiety isn't there? That's what I meant.

What do you mean by rational and irrational anxiety?

Not sure exactly what he was referring to, but my understanding of this statement would be anxiety that has a good reason to it, i.e. being nervous for a job interview tomorrow, vs an anxiety that is not as logical, i.e. having the attitude "I'm NEVER going to be able to find a job"...

I'm no expert. Symptoms may be the same, but your question as I read it was more or less looking for advice on how to conquer it, not how to create it! ;)

To conquer it I think is where the specifics come in to play. If it was as simple as jumping off a cliff into the water it's easy to just say jump. If it is stress because your aging grandmother who has Alzheimer's is no longer eating anymore...well then there's a completely different way to attack that anxiety isn't there? That's what I meant.

My question was... "what are some of your experiences are with anxiety and how have you dealt with it". So not just how to conquer it but what do you experience while suffering from anxiety.

There are two things at the moment but what we'll discuss is flying. I am flying to San Diego June 15th, as it gets closer, it's becoming unbearable.

Hahaha. Typical man who want's to just conquer it right? ;) Sorry.

I have no anxiety in my life so can't be of much help...

Hahaha. Typical man who want's to just conquer it right? ;) Sorry.

I have no anxiety in my life so can't be of much help...

Oh sure, make me open up and then run away.... sheesh!!!

So you're guilting me into talking more! Are you anxious about the actual flying part or about your family and the reasons you are going there?

So you're guilting me into talking more! Are you anxious about the actual flying part or about your family and the reasons you are going there?

Yes I'm guilting you ;)

Ok... this is what's going on. My son is flying a week prior, so I am petrified of something happening to him and him leaving his sister without a sibling. Then there's the fear of something happening to me and my daughter and leaving my son behind. On the way home we are flying together so the anxiety isn't as bad but I do worry if something did happen to us, then their father would be alone. It's crazy.

Joanne,

Try to get as anxiety ridden as possible. Seriously, make a sport (or game) out of seeing how worked up you can get. Between now and the time you fly, make it your total commitment to getting as absolutely worked up as possible.

Try it right now. If you are feeling a 5 out of 10 about the flight as you read this right now, make it a 10!! Now make it a 12! Really freak yourself out. How is it working?

Are you able to make it a 12? If so, this is childsplay, make it a 20! See how much you can freak out, and let me know what happens.

Ok... this is what's going on. My son is flying a week prior, so I am petrified of something happening to him and him leaving his sister without a sibling. Then there's the fear of something happening to me and my daughter and leaving my son behind. On the way home we are flying together so the anxiety isn't as bad but I do worry if something did happen to us, then their father would be alone. It's crazy.

I'm not going to say you're "crazy".

I'm also not going to bother pointing you to statistics regarding the safest way to travel, (being a plane).

Your feelings are your feelings.

From about 2005 to 2008 I was on a plane a minimum of 6 times a Month, my busiest Month probably being around 10 or 12 flights. It's like anything else, practice makes perfect. Here's a funny thing about me, I had NEVER been on a plane before 2003. I was also nervous to do it. I drove everywhere, and obviously never left the continent. Now we can fly through crazy storms with turbulence and I'll still be reading my magazine or book, the biggest form of anxiety will be trying not to spill my drink while still reading. It's like a bump on the road when you drive in a car, only waaaay more safe.

Do you remember being a kid and sitting on a school bus, how bumpy they were? I don't know about you, but I even wanted to sit in the bumpiest part of the bus, thought it was even more fun for some reason. That's all turbulence is, it's like a bump in the road, but unlike a car or bus there is no danger of that bump making the pilot lose control. There is tons of sky around and no chance of hitting anything or going off the road.

The chance of coming across anti aircraft missiles is also quite low on your route between Buffalo and California. ;)

When I was little I used to get anxiety over making phone calls. I'm talking when I was like 9-10 years old. I felt like was going to pee my pants. Maybe I even did once. I have no idea where that fear came from. Even into my 20s when I would make a business call or a call to someone I didnt know well, I felt like I needed to pee. I managed to get past it over time once I got more comfortable making calls, but it took a lot of making phone calls to get more comfortable. I no longer have this problem thankfully!

you mentioned once that you panic when you have to take your car to the car wash. I think you should start taking your car to the car wash every week and face your fear. Work through it and get more comfortable each time. Maybe this will help with your fear of flying as well...by working through one nerve-wracking experience, perhaps you will feel more in control of your fears.

Joanne,

Try to get as anxiety ridden as possible. Seriously, make a sport (or game) out of seeing how worked up you can get. Between now and the time you fly, make it your total commitment to getting as absolutely worked up as possible.

Try it right now. If you are feeling a 5 out of 10 about the flight as you read this right now, make it a 10!! Now make it a 12! Really freak yourself out. How is it working?

Are you able to make it a 12? If so, this is childsplay, make it a 20! See how much you can freak out, and let me know what happens.

I really need to know where you're going with this as it took me most of the morning to calm down and get rid of my chest pain that I was experiencing from this.

I'm not going to say you're "crazy".

I'm also not going to bother pointing you to statistics regarding the safest way to travel, (being a plane).

Your feelings are your feelings.

From about 2005 to 2008 I was on a plane a minimum of 6 times a Month, my busiest Month probably being around 10 or 12 flights. It's like anything else, practice makes perfect. Here's a funny thing about me, I had NEVER been on a plane before 2003. I was also nervous to do it. I drove everywhere, and obviously never left the continent. Now we can fly through crazy storms with turbulence and I'll still be reading my magazine or book, the biggest form of anxiety will be trying not to spill my drink while still reading. It's like a bump on the road when you drive in a car, only waaaay more safe.

Do you remember being a kid and sitting on a school bus, how bumpy they were? I don't know about you, but I even wanted to sit in the bumpiest part of the bus, thought it was even more fun for some reason. That's all turbulence is, it's like a bump in the road, but unlike a car or bus there is no danger of that bump making the pilot lose control. There is tons of sky around and no chance of hitting anything or going off the road.

The chance of coming across anti aircraft missiles is also quite low on your route between Buffalo and California. ;)

I really appreciate this. Knowing the statistics is comforting and talking to people that have flown a lot helps. Once I'm in the sky, it's not so bad, it's taking off and landing that freak me out the most.

When I was little I used to get anxiety over making phone calls. I'm talking when I was like 9-10 years old. I felt like was going to pee my pants. Maybe I even did once. I have no idea where that fear came from. Even into my 20s when I would make a business call or a call to someone I didnt know well, I felt like I needed to pee. I managed to get past it over time once I got more comfortable making calls, but it took a lot of making phone calls to get more comfortable. I no longer have this problem thankfully!

you mentioned once that you panic when you have to take your car to the car wash. I think you should start taking your car to the car wash every week and face your fear. Work through it and get more comfortable each time. Maybe this will help with your fear of flying as well...by working through one nerve-wracking experience, perhaps you will feel more in control of your fears.

I was the same way with talking on the phone, I'm still a little anxious when I have to talk to boys ;)

As for the car wash... yeah, that's not happening :biglaugh:

Rational Anxiety - anxiety you would feel going to your execution.

Irrational Anxiety - the same feeling as above because you are certain your friends new puppy will attack you.


Ration Anxiety - you get a letter from the IRS stating you owe 500,000 with 10 days or they will send you to prison.

Irrational Anxiety - you can't handle deciding what color to paint your living room wall and feel overwhelmed.


I had the same thing as M with phone calls. I still hate calls but I'd get adrenaline flowing everything I had to make a call. Didn't matter if I knew the person or not. This was irrational, I was in no danger, and adrenaline was not required to save myself from the dreaded phone call.

The best way I know to deal with anxiety is to look at the absurdity of it. Much like the hoarders who can't throw away a piece of garbage because it causes them anxiety, so to many people let absurd irrational anxiety hold them back from what they need to do.

Sheesh!

Killer puppies and executions....he's not messin around!

Sheesh!

Killer puppies and executions....he's not messin around!

The IRS scared me more than anything :D

Once I'm in the sky, it's not so bad, it's taking off and landing that freak me out the most.


Oh. Well in that case, yeah, there's lots of bumps and a slight chance of going off the road...:biglaugh:

I'm kidding with you. I agree, landing is always the most stressful part, as you are hovering and the wind is blowing...but you know what? Those planes were made for that! They are made for whatever comes at you. It's like being afraid that if you hit the tennis ball too hard with your racquet you're going to break it. It was made to hit hard!!

On a side note, some of my flying was to more remote cities like Yellowknife, Whitehorse, Thompson, etc...Waaay up north. I have a friend who is a pilot with Air Canada and he laughs at me, talking about those small airlines that fly to remote places "they have the oldest planes out there, the newest pilots, and the roughest terrain..." Talk about making you nervous!! He said this to me as I was hours from getting on one of those. And when you fly in the winter to a town like that you're looking down at the runway as you are landing and all you see is ice! There is no pavement in sight! Yet somehow, they still make it!

You're going to be on a huge plane using major airports and very experienced pilots anyways! Just sharing some more of my anxiety with this topic!

Oh. Well in that case, yeah, there's lots of bumps and a slight chance of going off the road...:biglaugh:

I'm kidding with you. I agree, landing is always the most stressful part, as you are hovering and the wind is blowing...but you know what? Those planes were made for that! They are made for whatever comes at you. It's like being afraid that if you hit the tennis ball too hard with your racquet you're going to break it. It was made to hit hard!!

On a side note, some of my flying was to more remote cities like Yellowknife, Whitehorse, Thompson, etc...Waaay up north. I have a friend who is a pilot with Air Canada and he laughs at me, talking about those small airlines that fly to remote places "they have the oldest planes out there, the newest pilots, and the roughest terrain..." Talk about making you nervous!! He said this to me as I was hours from getting on one of those. And when you fly in the winter to a town like that you're looking down at the runway as you are landing and all you see is ice! There is no pavement in sight! Yet somehow, they still make it!

You're going to be on a huge plane using major airports and very experienced pilots anyways! Just sharing some more of my anxiety with this topic!

Thanks for sharing your stories, they're funny and making me feel a hell of a lot better. If you have any more stories, save them because I'm not flying for another three weeks :D

Joanne,

I was wondering are you Claustrophobic also?

I am somewhat Claustrophobic and for this reason I sit back further in the plane to create the illusion that I have more space in front of me.

I always choose the seat 1-2 rows behind the wings. This way I have lots of space in front of me and then also some behind me. My preferred Airline is Jet Blue and I usually sit in row 17.

Last year I had to fly United Airlines and in a small commuter plane for the first time ever. I never wanted to fly on the smaller commuter planes because of being somewhat Claustrophobic. But most of all, I also had myself convinced that the smaller planes crashed more often and could not handle the turbulence as well.

I did fly on the smaller commuter planes and sat in the very last row and I handled it just fine. I made myself do it because I had to and TOLD myself that I would be just fine and TOLD myself that people fly on these types of planes all the time. And personally for myself, I pray and trust God when flying. I also bring my Bible and read some passages before we take off.

It is really important to pay attention to the "Self Talk" that is going on in your head and try to turn it around to comforting, encouraging, positive "Self Talk".

Joanne, I think a lot of people get nervous when flying especially when they hit turbulence. Also, when you fly you are totally vulnerable because you are putting your safety and your life in the hands of someone else which is something that we usually do not do.

How do you handle yourself in the following possible life threatening situations?

Also, how do you handle it when it is your children in the following situations?

1. Having surgery and being put to sleep and trusting the doctors to keep you alive and the anesthesiologist not to make a mistake?

2. Driving your car long distance in a really, really, bad snow blizzard where you can’t see in front of you and the roads conditions are extremely dangerous?



Take care,
GGG

Hey Joanne,

As I'm sure I've said before, I don't like flying either. I was a little nervous about my recent flight to Vegas. (which is just a 2 hour flight) I was told it would be a bumpy one, but I had no idea HOW bumpy it would be! :yikes: It was even worse on the way back. :cookoo: I've flown a lot and even had a wild flight to Germany once, but this one was crazy. :D Simple solution: just squeeze hubbies arm really tight until it almost falls off and order more drinks. :lildevil: I don't tell you this to scare you, just to let you know that I would do it all over again a thousand times. :p I tell myself to be logical when I worry about flying....the statistics say it all. It's hard to ignore that. The chances of you dying on an airplane is just too slim. Not going to happen my friend! :) So you may as well kick back, have a drink, and chat with the cute guy sitting next to you. (hopefully) :thumb: :D

This might help:

http://www.flyingfear.net/articles/how-safe-is-flying-detailed-statistics.html

You have a better chance of dying in a boating accident, apparently. :p

Kimberly

Like I said.....

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y221/KKPDX/Vegas2010002.jpg

Mmmm this drink wasn't bad. :D

So you may as well kick back, have a drink,


Hey Joanne,

I agree with Kimberly LOL!..... Drinking helps!!! :Wine: :guiness: :Wine:

Especially if you mix it with your valium!!! :crosseye: :crosseye: :crosseye: :crosseye:

But mixing is not a good idea ..... :nono:

Speaking of valium, why is your doctor only giving you 2 valium pills? :hmm:

Also, if everything else fails, you can also try this.... :fingersx: :fingersx: :fingersx:



Cheers to your Flight!! :cheers:
GGG

I've flown a lot and even had a wild flight to Germany once, but this one was crazy. :D Simple solution: just squeeze hubbies arm really tight until it almost falls off

So you may as well kick back, have a drink, and chat with the cute guy sitting next to you.



Joanne,

When really bad turbulence hits and I am flying alone,
I always let the guy next to me know that I might accidentally grab a hold of him! :D :D LOL!
They always seem to be cool with it!! :thumb:

Also, I like Kimberly's idea, see if you can sit next to the cute guy and flirt with him!!!!
That should keep your mind busy! ;)



Cheers to your Flight!
GGG

i think Joey's concern is not so much the actual flight ... its about what MAY happen ... the thinking about what may happen ... so those tips (drinking, flirting with cute guys etc, are great for the actual flight ... but what about BEFORE the flight? ... the weeks leading up to it, when she has huge amounts of chest pain with the anxiety of the thoughts??

Joey ... if it helps any, take off's and landing's to me feel like i am in an elevator ... the simple act of riding up and down in an elevator ...

Also, when you fly you are totally vulnerable because you are putting your safety and your life in the hands of someone else which is something that we usually do not do.

Actually, we put "trust" with our lives in other peoples hands more often than you think, and we put "trust" in machines, with our lives everyday, to do their job.

The fact is, flying is so much safer than most other modes of transport for the simple fact that you are a small spot in the atmosphere and next to nothing can harm you.

In a car, you pass hundreds of cars driving straight toward you, at high speed, we trust other not to hit us.

People travel in elevators all day, that if they have total failure, could kill you if they drop more than about 4 floors -I work on level 41, I'd be flattened.

Joanne, you need to identify what it is that you are actually anxious about. There are many different things people fear with flying, not everyone who has fear of flying fears everything. Some people fear takeoff, but are fine during the flight. Some fear landing, some fear flying over water, others over cities. People who fear germs struggle with the...germs on planes.

What is it specifically you are afraid of? What are the thoughts?

How is the anxiety serving you? How far will you go with the anxiety - will you collapse? Pass out? (if you do you won't be having anxiety anymore)

Mark, I did identify it silly...... My son is flying a week prior, so I am petrified of something happening to him and him leaving his sister without a sibling. Then there's the fear of something happening to me and my daughter and leaving my son behind. On the way home we are flying together so the anxiety isn't as bad but I do worry if something did happen to us, then their father would be alone. I know It's crazy.

Now, I have the same fear when driving with one child... if we were to die and leave the other child although I am able to dismiss it immediately because, I am driving, I am in control and we're already on the ground :)
My fear of something happening to them was very intense in 2006, that was when I went on Prozac which helped immensely with the worry. I would lie awake and think of the worst possible thing ever. I no longer do that, instead, I watch reruns of friends. I could get my mind going but I put an end to it asap but with this flight coming up, it's not so easy.

Kimberly and GGG, alcohol is not an option for me. It will be 7:30 am! I am even considering not taking valium as I want my bearings with me the entire time. I would like to be on valium for the next three weeks though :D

Joanne,


Also, how do you handle it when it is your children in the following situations?

1. Having surgery and being put to sleep and trusting the doctors to keep you alive and the anesthesiologist not to make a mistake?

2. Driving your car long distance in a really, really, bad snow blizzard where you can’t see in front of you and the roads conditions are extremely dangerous?



Take care,
GGG

I was petrified about being put under anesthesia! I had no choice when I had breast cancer and I am no longer fearful of that.

Driving does not frighten me, sure I hate white outs and blizzard conditions but it's different. If I crash, I'm not going very fast, my car isn't going to fall apart and then burst into flames.

Two facts I have come across regarding flying:

You are more likely to die from being stung by a bee than you are from flying.

If you flew every day of your life, on average it would take you nineteen thousand years before you would succumb to a fatal accident. Nineteen thousand years

Good thing dinosaurs didn't fly.

Some did.

Jo,

What I was getting at, is the idea that often times fighting our thoughts and feelings give them their strength. And as soon as you embace the fear, not challenge it, not slay it, but truly embrace it, encouraging that fear to show you it's worst, then you actually take away it's power.

By pursuing the most exaggerated manifestation of that fear, you get to feel how feeble it actually is. As long as you avoid it, it feels stronger. That is where I was going you by telling you to bring it out.

Some did.

Jo,

What I was getting at, is the idea that often times fighting our thoughts and feelings give them their strength. And as soon as you embace the fear, not challenge it, not slay it, but truly embrace it, encouraging that fear to show you it's worst, then you actually take away it's power.

By pursuing the most exaggerated manifestation of that fear, you get to feel how feeble it actually is. As long as you avoid it, it feels stronger. That is where I was going you by telling you to bring it out.

I like that! I like you PhilD and not just because you and my brother have the same name :p

Ok, so now to face it.... there's a project. I was talking to Angelbabee about different ways of tackling it which seemed to have helped. It's another way of facing it.


Teradactyls flew :D

Kimberly and GGG, alcohol is not an option for me. It will be 7:30 am! I am even considering not taking valium as I want my bearings with me the entire time. I would like to be on valium for the next three weeks though :DI also suggested a link to look at with some good statistics. :)

Worrying will kill you before a plane crash will, so stop it! :D

Kimberly

Some did.



Always gotta be the smarty don't ya.

:biglaugh:

I find that I worry less and less as I get older. I don't know if you have experienced that a little Joanne? Just something I noticed with myself. I have more of a "sh#$ happens, whatta ya gonna do?" type of attitude now. :D Worrying is too exhausting for me anymore. :p

Kimberly

Always gotta be the smarty don't ya.

:biglaugh:

He actually does remind me of my brother :DC:

I find that I worry less and less as I get older. I don't know if you have experienced that a little Joanne? Just something I noticed with myself. I have more of a "sh#$ happens, whatta gonna do?" type of attitude now. :D Worrying is too exhausting for me anymore. :p

Kimberly

I have noticed that Kimberly... I was way worse a few years ago! I think as my kids get older, I calm down a bit. And yes, worrying is very exhausting, I despise it!

I have noticed that Kimberly... I was way worse a few years ago!See then, you are making progress!!!! ;)

So just to clarify...

Are anxiety and fear two separate demons? Is this their last names or are we on first name relationship level with them? Where exactly do they sit in your head? Do they eat?

So just to clarify...

Are anxiety and fear two separate demons? Is this their last names or are we on first name relationship level with them? Where exactly do they sit in your head? Do they eat?

:biglaugh: You're an ass!

They're like little monsters and they eat my brain, sheesh! They kind of sit in the cortex, don't you know these things???? Maybe you can help me come up with names for them.

Fear causes anxiety, in my opinion.

:biglaugh: You're an ass!

They're like little monsters and they eat my brain, sheesh! They kind of sit in the cortex, don't you know these things???? Maybe you can help me come up with names for them.

Fear causes anxiety, in my opinion.

How about Bob Fear and Ricardo Anxiety. Those seem like good names to me. And Ricardo has no backbone so Bob is always making him do things. I think you can honestly say now that you've kicked Bob and Ricardo.

So just to clarify...

Are anxiety and fear two separate demons? Is this their last names or are we on first name relationship level with them? Where exactly do they sit in your head? Do they eat?



Well, if they are male demons….. :hmm:
They are most likely having a BBQ!!! :D :D :D



LOL! :biglaugh:
GGG

How about Bob Fear and Ricardo Anxiety. Those seem like good names to me. And Ricardo has no backbone so Bob is always making him do things. I think you can honestly say now that you've kicked Bob and Ricardo.

How about Fat Bob?

Well, if they are male demons….. :hmm:
They are most likely having a BBQ!!! :D :D :D



LOL! :biglaugh:
GGG


They were definitely doing some cooking in my poor little brain :mad:

Thanx for all the fun today but I must go home as I have important things to take care of..... ciao~ :wave:

I don't know about you GGG, but I thought this was important??

I have been doing a lot of thinking about this today and I have to admit that earlier today I was thinking that this fear was irrational and being blown completely and unnecessarily out of proportion. I owe you a big apology Jojo for being so dismissive of just how scary this is for you. You see, I was suddenly reminded of a fear I had when I was little.

I was terrified of escalators when I was about 4-6 years old. I would not get on them. To most people, they are simply moving staircases that mean less work for them but for me they were giant body-part-eating metal zippers that eat little girls. I simply refused to step onto them. When confronted with one of these man-eating devices, I would sit down and make it so that if I was getting on the escalator, the only way i was doing so would be in my mom or dad's arms but there was no way I was stepping on that escalator with my own two feet. I figured if someone was going to have their feet cut off by those moving metal teeth, it was going to my parents for being so foolish as to step onto one of those those horrific inventions.

Well, one day my mom took me up the escalator at Sears in her arms as usual and then set me down once we got to the top and then instantly, she got on the other escalator going down and she left me there at the top. "where are going, Mom?" "Mom! Where are you going?" She just ignored me and went down. When she got the bottom she looked up at me and said very calmly and matter of factly, "come on, let's go. we're leaving. " Absolutely mortified I declared equally as matter of fact, "NO! I can't"! and she said, "Yes, you can and you are going to unless you plan on sleeping here tonight". I put my hand on the black moving rubber rail/death trap and instantly pulled it away in fear. Heart was pounding. Fear had ensued. I broke down. Tears came flooding to my eyes and I started panicking. I kept trying over and over to put my darn foot on the metal stairs but every time I got close to contact with I yanked it away in fear. All the while my mom just stood there looking up at me. "Come on, Meredith. You can do it". she must have said that a hundred times. If I would have known about the F word at that point in my life, I would have used it. Instead I just said, "I hate you! why are you being so mean?!"

Eventually I gave up (temporarily) and went off to the bedding section of Sears and thew myself on one of those small made up bed displays. I waited and waited for her to come find me. "Surely she must wonder if I've been kidnapped", I kept thinking. But she never came for me. (nor did a kidnapper). What felt like a half an hour passed. It was probably only 10 minutes. Maybe less. But it felt like forever. Finally i went to the top of the sharp metal body-part eating moving stairs and there are the bottom was my mom still waiting. She looked pissed. I knew she meant business now and if I didn't get on that escalator I was going to get a serious whooping when I got home that would probably be worse than anything the stairs could have done to me, so I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and braced myself for certain death as I walked onto the first step.

Guess what? I didn't lose my feet. Or any body part for that matter. The only thing I lost was my fear! I realized in that moment that the metal death trap was't so bad after all, and that I actually could step on without losing my feet!
The funny thing is that sometimes, this fear sort of comes back to me on occassion (like when I have to get on an escalator at the airport while simultaneously wheeling four suitcases). I feel that panic I felt when I was six years old rising but I also remember that feeling I felt when I finally and successfully stepped onto the stairs, and I push through my fear. lol, last month I was wearing spike high heels and the little spike got stuck in between the pieces of metal grid on the stair beneath me. I realized it just as I was about to reach the top and my panic level went from 1 to 10 in an instant. But guess what? It all worked out. again, the stairs did not eat me and I arrived safely to my destination at the top of the stairs. I had to giggle a little at my fear, but hey...its real no matter how irrational it is. But you work through it and are better off for having done so.

I really feel that for you, the best way to address your fear is head on. Work through the feelings of panic. Experience the full spectrum of emotions associated with your fear, and then go through the entire experience to show yourself that not only is okay to fly, but it is also okay to feel nervous about flying. It is okay to feel panic. It is okay to be uneasy. You will survive those emotions just like you will survive the plane ride.

I still think you should start small by working through your fear of the car wash. I think it is a good exercise. It is scary, but empowering to work through these fears. I believe you can do it! Take someone with you to the car wash. maybe even go first as a passenger and then again go with someone as the driver. Work yourself up to the point where you can go alone. Just think...if you can work through that, you can surely work through your fear of flying.

You can do it!

I don't know about you GGG, but I thought this was important??

Hey SeanDavid,

Names, location and food regarding demons….. :hmm:
Your questions seemed valid to me. :thumb:



LOL!
GGG

I also suggested a link to look at with some good statistics. :)

Worrying will kill you before a plane crash will, so stop it! :D

KimberlySTOP making sense, Kim. Your disrupting Joanne's therapy thread. :D ;)

STOP making sense, Kim. Your disrupting Joanne's therapy thread. :D ;)

:D And it has been therapy! Laughing about it definitely makes it bearable.

Meredith, I'm a little shocked that you felt that way. I had no fears when I was little other than being shy, I was pretty much bold and daring. My fears of flying began after my children were born.

As for the car wash, I want you to understand, it's not the actual car wash, it's lining up the tire before I go through the wash. :cookoo:

Some did.

Jo,

What I was getting at, is the idea that often times fighting our thoughts and feelings give them their strength. And as soon as you embace the fear, not challenge it, not slay it, but truly embrace it, encouraging that fear to show you it's worst, then you actually take away it's power.

By pursuing the most exaggerated manifestation of that fear, you get to feel how feeble it actually is. As long as you avoid it, it feels stronger. That is where I was going you by telling you to bring it out.

Joey ... this is exactly what i was talking to you about the other day ... stop fighting the thoughts and allow them to sit there ... along with the feelings (emotions and physical sensations), and their power lessens ... its not the intention to lessen the power ... but it is usually the result ... the cartoon voices and singing thing that i taught u ... along with the naming the story ... help to do this ... it allows u to accept the thoughts rather than fight with it

it is what Acceptance and Committment Therapy (ACT) is all about

Ali

:biglaugh: You're an ass!

They're like little monsters and they eat my brain, sheesh! They kind of sit in the cortex, don't you know these things???? Maybe you can help me come up with names for them.

Fear causes anxiety, in my opinion.

naming them would be an awesome technique!! ... the same theory as naming the story ...

following the theory that our brains are designed to protect us, if we think back to caveman times ... if we were to see a saber toothed tiger up on the ridge above our head, our brain immediately would perceive it as a threat, right? ... so we start thinking that to survive we MUST either get away (flight) or fight for it ...

now in modern times when we dont have the tigers threatening us, our brains are still doing there thing and protecting us ... only now we perceive the threats in things like r/ships, flying, public speaking etc etc ...

our bodies were not designed to be in that kind of stress mode for long periods of time ... and yet increasingly we are ...

anyway ... back to the topic ... joey allowing our brain to do what it was designed to to is the goal here ... allow it to sit with the feelings rather than fight them ... and at some point the likely (not the intention) outcome is that the intensity of the feelings lessen

so ... thank your brain for doing its job ... name the monsters, the story, and then sing the thoughts or repeat them with a cartoon voice ... and notice what happens ... remember the intention is not to change it ... but to simply notice the results, like a curious scientist does :)

Ali

joey ... i really like what mer has said too ... allowing yourself to experience it ... feel the gamut of sensations ... rather than avoiding it or trying to push it away ... can seriously help these things :thumb:

Ali

What do you mean by ignore? How did you ignore it?

What do you mean by rational and irrational anxiety?

Do not worry. Fear and anxiety are in our mind not in reality.

Gotta Get Away Lyrics
Artist(Band):Offspring
Review The Song (10) Print the Lyrics



Send "Gotta Get Away" Ringtones to Cell

I'm getting edgy all the time
There's someone around me just a step behind
It's kinda scary the , the shape I'm in
The walls are shakin'and they' re closing in
Too fast or a bit too slow
I'm paranoid of people and it's starting to show
There' s one guy that I can't shake
Over my shoulder is a big mistake
Sitting on the bed
Or lying wide awake
There's demons in my head
And it's more than I can take
I think I'm on a roll
But I think it's kinda weak
Saying all I know is
I gotta get away from me
I tell you something just ain't right
My head is on loose but my shoes are tight
Avoiding my fiends cause they all bug
Life is like a riddle and I'm really stumped
If you reason, don't you know
Your own preoccupation is where you'll go
I think I'm being followed, I look around
It's only my shadow creepin' on the ground

Yes I'm guilting you ;)

Ok... this is what's going on. *My son is flying a week prior, so I am petrified of something happening to him and him leaving his sister without a sibling. *Then there's the fear of something happening to me and my daughter and leaving my son behind. *On the way home we are flying together so the anxiety isn't as bad but I do worry if something did happen to us, then their father would be alone. *It's crazy.

Hi Joanne here's some good news Fear is an acronym for false evidence appearing real, I was petrified of flying for the same reasons, I don't want to keep your fear alive by sharing my symptoms with you, but what I would like to offer is what's worked for me.

Where there is fear involved I have used love and courage to help me overcome my anxiety and emotions, prior to your flight rather than thinking about the worst case scenario start thinking about the diamonds in the cloud.

I focused in my mind that I was going to be greeted by really friendly, kind and helpful staff which would make my journey a pleasurable one, everyone on my flight would be happy in the knowledge that we are going to arrive at our destination safely, peacefully and move through check in and check out smoothly and quickly, on the flight itself because the staff were so polite and loved what they do, my food was well presented, I enjoyed the company of the person sitting next to me who was very friendly and polite

What I have discovered by this exercise is that this has worked in other areas of my life as well. Where attention goes energy flows and outcomes show

I now focus my attention on the good things I want to experience in my flights and when fear used to try and trick me especially at that start when my fear radar was really high*

I reminded my self why are you stressing out so bad tomorrow hasn't come yet, yesterday is gone but today is my Present so I now choose to unwrap my present and make my tomorrow's present even better than today's

I hope this helps, you can honestly attract all the good things into your life when use courage and love as your guide to changing your thoughts

for god has a plan for you, and that's not to harm you, but to give you prosperity, hope and bright future.

I pray that from today onwards your anxiety and fear decreases to zero rememberanc and that your courage in these areas increase to a full and overflowing cup*

Thank you very much emotional intelligence, that was awesome. I did fly to CA last June and plan on going next year as well and the anxiety is setting in once again.

My one friend said to look at it as if God is holding the airplane in his hand, and of course my smart ass remark was, what about the crashes? Did he have to sneeze??

Anyway, that was a great post, thank you!!

I wasn't sure where this put this under, I figured Challenge Life might be the perfect place since this is considered somewhat of a challenge.

The demons I'm referring to is anxiety and fear. I'm interested in hearing what some of your experiences are with anxiety and how you've dealt with it.

Jo, you should read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Fear-Geoff-Thompson/dp/1840241934

Geoff says - in a nutshell - that if you take what you are afraid of (say losing a GF, or a job) and ask "whats the worst thing that can happen if this does occur".

Once you realise you can deal with that, the fear subsides.

Invariably - as Scooter has mentioned before - this thing will pass, and you'll still be alive, and pretty much where you were.

Geoff also says that Fear is a good thing. It stops us jumping off buildings for instance...

Jo, you should read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Fear-Geoff-Thompson/dp/1840241934

Geoff says - in a nutshell - that if you take what you are afraid of (say losing a GF, or a job) and ask "whats the worst thing that can happen if this does occur".

Once you realise you can deal with that, the fear subsides.

Invariably - as Scooter has mentioned before - this thing will pass, and you'll still be alive, and pretty much where you were.

Geoff also says that Fear is a good thing. It stops us jumping off buildings for instance...

Thanks Chuck. I booked mark the book, I have two I must finish prior and then I promise yous will be next :thumb:

Is it time to say goodbye to the demons in my head

Looking at my heart what is is man and what's next.
Questioning again found the lessons that i've learned.
Now my lesson in my head fure is not still past
Is it time to say goodbye to the demons in my head".

"and now on the 21st century, it's time to stand up and realize, that we should not allow ourselves to be crammed into this rat maze. we should not submit to dehumanization. i don't know about you, but i'm concerned with what's happening in this world. i'm concerned with the structure. i'm concerned with the systems of control. those that control my life, and those that seek to control it even more! i want freedom!"