Assuming that you want to be more succesful than you already are, or achieve more than you have already been able to, what do you think it is that holds you back?

With me its money.

Do you mean not having the money to advertise your site or are you talking about other things too?

Unfortunately I'm talking about other things.

Ok, so are you saying that if you had more money, you would use that money to be more successful and/or achieve more?

Ok, so are you saying that if you had more money, you would use that money to be more successful and/or achieve more?
I'd be a lot happier and I tend to get a lot more done when I'm happy, I suppose the same could be said for most people.

Ok, thanks. I was just trying to make sure I understood you.

Fear

Fear to step out and what that may mean. If I take a chance will I loose my house?
I think Fear is why most people fail to be successful.

Great points Nathan!

Fear

Fear to step out and what that may mean. If I take a chance will I loose my house?
I think Fear is why most people fail to be successful.

I agree that fear is a strong reason for people not being successful. Maybe it's the fear of unknown factors when opportunities come along.

Personally, I think procrastination is my biggest problem, though I'm alot more motivated now than I used to be.

Yeah, procrastination can be biggie too.

I am my own worst enemy. Despair, depression, and a generalized feeling of hopelessness are the demons I struggle with each day. What once had meaning, no longer does in my life. I know that is probably difficult for most to understand.

Is it because of the situation with your mother or is there more to it than that?

OneMore,

I have been through all that myself with bad health problems and other personal issues, and fully understand how bad it is. I just kept believing that things would turn around as long as I put in the effort to make changes. I'm still not 100% there yet, but I'm well on the way.

Keep the faith and you can turn it around. :)

The truth is, Tom, the onset of my depression started about a year before I learned of my mother's illness though I'm not really sure why. Perhaps it was the fallout of pushing myself too long and too much to accomplish those things that have very little meaning in my life anymore. Perhaps it was the onset of menopause. I don't know. I had so many dreams, some of which I accomplished, and some of which I've not, but none seem to matter any more. When my mother took ill, I died, though I didn't realize that for the longest time.

For a while I clung to the belief that I could recover from the effects of her illness, but now I'm not so sure. It is an hour by hour struggle for me at times. Of all the things I planned for my life, my mother's illness was never among them. Such chaos she has made of everything. It is a symptom of the disease, her inability to leave things in their place. I'll never understand why she feels the need to remove all the clothes from my closet and pile them in the middle of the floor or why she is so focused on taking things and either hiding them or throwing them away, but she is. All my paperwork is in such disarray now.

I still have faith, Scarlet, though I'm not sure how enduring it be. It is, however, the reason I still am despite my desire to be otherwise at times.

OneMore have you ever thought about trying anti-depressant medication? My brother has a chronic depression problem and he is doing much better on medicine. Even though I don't know you I am worried about when I read what you have to say. Nobody should have to go threw life like that.

I fully believe that there is always hope even though things don't feel that way sometimes. I too have known people that couldn't seem to get up and out of it without the help of medication. I don't know if you've explored that or not, but that might be the way to go. Also, I know there are some very active depression forums where you can find more support. http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&q=depression+forums

At any rate, like Scarlett said, Keep the faith and you can turn it around. :)

I would have to say procrastination is mine as well, but it is a particularly nasty form of procrastination that my friend calls "flicking." Flicking is when you do work in order to avoid doing other work. I have a particularly nasty habit of that, but I am working to change that.

Never heard of it put that way before IAFPO, but I think I have that same problem at times.

Yeah, I didn't even realize I was doing it until my friend told me about "flicking." :)

Wow, I think I'm guilty of flicking as well. :D

I never thought I had so much in common with so many people, so I'm not so unique and alone after all. :D

Now, that comment sounds way to familiar! :D I think I might have said that once or twice myself!

Yeah, I didn't even realize I was doing it until my friend told me about "flicking." :)

Another term I have heard used for that same thing is 'boondoggling'. I know it sounds weird and I don't know where it came from. It means making yourself look busy, when your not actually doing anything constructive.

Just a useless piece of trivia :p

Ahh. Well, Flicking and Boondoggling are actually different things then

Flicking: Doing work in order to avoid doing something. With flicking, you could actually be doing something constructive, just you are avoiding doing something that you don't want to do. For example, I could be working on my website, which does need to get done, but be avoiding doing my laundry, which also needs to be done. I can use the fact that I am doing something constructive as an excuse to avoid doing what I am avoiding, because I am obviously busy being constructive. ;)

Boondoggling: Making yourself look busy, when your not actually doing anything constructive.

Well, I think I've done a bit of both in my time. ;)

Has someone been watching me over the years? :yikes:

Has someone been watching me over the years? :yikes:

I had a feeling you were a boondoggler and a flicker. ;)

:biglaugh:

I had a feeling you were a boondoggler and a flicker. ;)
Hmm,

Thanks for the compliment, sort of. :p :D

Those are very interesting terms. I'm guilty of the flicking as well, but not the boondoggler.

I've never boondoggled myself, but I've worked with people who have. It can be frustrating when you're doing someone else's job as well as your own.

As for flicking, I am guilty of doing that. ;)

limiting beliefs.

most people due to their parental upbringing have ingrained limited beliefs about their capabilities.

for instance- "I'll never be able to afford a Mercedes-Benz", and so they never go down the track of even finding out whether they can, because of their subconcious thought processes.

Fear of believing in oneself, "am I capable" turn this around to "I am capable" etc

If you believe what you sell yourself, so shall others.

And i forgot one thing.

Money has absolutely nothing to do with success, but has everything to do with wealth.

Don't mix them up, probably man's most common erro.r

Money has absolutely nothing to do with success, but has everything to do with wealth. Don't mix them up, probably man's most common erro.rWell, true to a point, but there is more to RealWealth than just money. Without Health, without Love and Association and Relationship, without Spirit and Soul - money and wealth are actually pretty meaningless. Or so says literally hundreds of thousands of people who have had the good fortune of being successful with money, but at the cost of a life. or a family.

so money does not not have everything to do with RealWealth. On the other hand, BALANCE in ones life does.

Fear

Fear to step out and what that may mean. If I take a chance will I loose my house?
I think Fear is why most people fail to be successful.
I think its not fear that makes people succesful but the inabilty to belive that they can be sucessful. you can also say that they lack commitment, belief and are too lazy too find out new oppurtunities

I think its not fear that makes people succesful but the inabilty to belive that they can be sucessful. you can also say that they lack commitment, belief and are too lazy too find out new oppurtunities


Amen to that.

oh dear, i'm a flicker too.

gotta pay last years taxes, but i can't help putting it off.

i think it's because i know that i've got 12 more days before i'll get fined.

got fined 2 years ago though.

gotta control my flicking! thanks for the awareness of a word suited to my condition guys!

when we learn something, our brain grows, never contracts.

the fear of failure will only come true if you believe it, a good enough reason perhaps if you lack commitment.


taking well informed, researched decisions is an important step in overcoming this fear.

I agree that fear is a strong reason for people not being successful. Maybe it's the fear of unknown factors when opportunities come along.

Personally, I think procrastination is my biggest problem, though I'm alot more motivated now than I used to be.

Read the book Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This book has been responsible for more success stories than any other. Read the chapter on "The Six Ghosts Of Fear."

limiting beliefs.

most people due to their parental upbringing have ingrained limited beliefs about their capabilities.

for instance- "I'll never be able to afford a Mercedes-Benz", and so they never go down the track of even finding out whether they can, because of their subconcious thought processes.

Fear of believing in oneself, "am I capable" turn this around to "I am capable" etc

If you believe what you sell yourself, so shall others.

I fully agree with you!

It is very important what do you think about yourself...To be succesful the first thing is to believe that you can be successful.

Also to be successful you need life ENERGY.

Energy comes from proper diet, exercises, walks in beautiful nature.

Assuming that you want to be more succesful than you already are, or achieve more than you have already been able to, what do you think it is that holds you back?

self sabatoge

If you believe what you sell yourself, so shall others.

Excellent. Just excellent! thanks :cool:

self sabatoge

You are right, Ironmind!

A few minutes ago I did a small "self sabotage". I eat a sweet cake :-) I usualy do not eat anything that contains sugar, but...

This is very small example, but how we managing with small things is equal to how we are managing the important things.

I guess I need to practise more with small things, and when my will and mind is ready I will have oppourtunity to deal with more important things and tasks.

With me its money.

Money is NEVER a reason for not being successfull. You don't need money to start a great business, invest in real estate or stocks/dirivatives, etc. You can find the money if you can show someone how investing with you will benefit them. You can also earn a "finders fee" for bringing together the people witht the $$ and the people with the investment together.

There was a man (I can't remember his name now) who was completely broke right after one of the world wars. Anyway, the US was getting rid of a huge number a Navy boats and what he did was put an offer on them. Once he had them tied up with a contract he went and bid on a job to transport cargo overseas. When he won the bid, he went to the bank with the contract and the new job and was able to negotiate a loan to pay for the boats. All of this was done with no $$!

My problem is impatience. I'll start on a website, then get side-tracked or come up with another idea and start another website, leaving the previous one to gather dust.

If a project isn't going well, I'd rather drop it altogether and start on something new rather than try to fix it or make it better. I find most of the websites I develop do become successful, but I'm not one to wait for profit or traffic to the site if it doesn't happen soon (within a few months).

I own several hundred domain names because of this. I'll think of an idea, find and register a domain name for it, and tell myself that I'll get to it when I have time. Then, a year later, it's up for renewal and I never made the time for it! Ahhhhh!

So, one of my main goals is to start finishing new and past unfinished projects.

Yes, lack of follow-through. I've had that problem many times.

Laziness.

That's what stops me from being successful. I'm probably not the only one.

Laziness is a disease that we all suffer from from time to time. Some people will call it "Distraction", others call it "Not enough time" or some other excuse. In the end, it's really their laziness that's bringing them down. I, like many of you no doubt, need to recognise when laziness is taking hold.

I get distracted easily because I can't be bothered to deal with the task in hand. If something comes along that's more interesting I'll jump to concentrate on it rather than the hard work task I should have been concentrating on.

Motivation is strongly linked to laziness, and I think laziness can be attributed to some degree to everyone's "Reason for not succeeding".

We're not going to get anywhere unless we buckle down, focus on the job at hand, and Get it Done :bonk:

Laziness isn't the problem. Its a symptom of another problem.

"People are not lazy. They simply have goals that do not inspire them."- Anthony Robbins

I get distracted easily too. I am distracted by the things that are more interesting and more inspiring to me.

Laziness isn't the problem. Its a symptom of another problem.

"People are not lazy. They simply have goals that do not inspire them."- Anthony Robbins

I get distracted easily too. I am distracted by the things that are more interesting and more inspiring to me.

Yes you're right, laziness is a symptom of not having the goals to inspire one.

But as a symptom it should still be removed, whether that involves removing the symptom or the source!

The key is to focus to begin with on something that inspires you. However, even when you do that, you'll still be distracted from some minor essential details. Self control needs to be developed to be able to perform these crappy jobs that are unfortunately associated with tasks that we otherwise love.

Removing the symptom is a band-aid approach.

You need to identify the source, and take care of that before moving on, or it will just come back, often-times in a different form.

and you are right that the ultimate pull to success is the vision of WHY. What is it that causes you to sustain the Motivation to do all the things necessay to make it happen?

It's the strong Motive, coupled with the Consistant Action, that creates RESULTS!