52 Days for KG

[FamilyMan]

Thanks for sharing, John, hope you can work things out for the better soon.

A quick question and observation. Are you trying to do too much and get everything under control all at once? Sometimes you have to put some silos of your life on the back burner and let them suck for a while, while you make the others (one?) right. Once that one is right, you can focus on the others one by one.

I went through something similar this past year - basically one item was sucking the life out of me since last April. Things came to a head in October - work suffered, family suffered, goals suffered, fitness/health suffered all year. I was beating myself up until I finally realized I couldn't solve everything at once. I quit my job in December, pissed me off but I said good bye for now to my short-term financial goals - but got the rest of my life back in order. I'm exercising, my mental outlook is getting better, stress is less and everything is on the upswing. In a few months I'll be able to fully tackle the financial silo that has taken a hit. But it was/is necessary hit to fix the rest of my life.

My point, and it may be invalid, is that your stress may be coming from all areas and you can't let any go so you are trying to fix all at once. Very hard mentally as well as physically. Can't see the individual trees because the forest looks so damn big. Can you concentrate on one tree at a time.

Don't know if it helped, but you are a good man and we're in your corner.

Tom

[Awake at Last]

Great posts, Base & Tom!

[KahunaGrande]

Originally Posted by baseline

Whiney rants happen when you have no clear direction, IMO. Sounds like your drifting on a number of fronts, with no direction to move towards. That is meant to be an observation based on your comments, BTW, and not a judgement.


There was a book (Passages? Maybe?) that talked about how each decade brings a new set of concerns and realities to deal with. You are no longer the New Dad, the hot-shot phenom, the world-class _________; you are at that midlife point where the kids don't need you (except for when they do), and the plans start seeming to....compress. What "worked" for you at 20 and even 30 is stale at 40- but change is the hardest thing to do. The man in the mirror has to do more than admit mistakes; he has to deal with them, fix them, and forgive them. Way easier said than done, BTW; I'm still working on some myself.......

TR has a great idea in making small, incremental changes- and it is no accident that he always refers to physical conditioning as his example. If you can focus on one thing (conditioning) for a month,you'll see/ feel a result. That helps with overwhelm- for some, that is all it takes to get back on track. Others need a complete makeover. So what does John need?

Ball is in your court; up to you if you play. But I will tell you if you try to fix everything in a month...... you will probably fail. You can't fix the home life, the career, the friendships, all while writing a novel, training for the paraOlympics and starting Microsoft2 this month. So what are the top 3 things you wish you change this month- and what one is the most likely?


Lastly, you have a mix of moving towards/ away from tendancies; you are not one or the other predominently, from what I've seen. That can be Balance- or sitting on the fence. You are on a lot of fences right now; identify them, and figure out which stratagy makes the most sense for you for that fence. In my case, the moving towards works best for working out; moving away works best for finances. What is your trigger?

Good luck to you; these questions and suggestions are not meant to be a Public Thang, but to get you thinking. You don't owe a response, unless you want to. Spidey always felt that his Life Purpose exercise would be enough to get you through these points- and maybe that tool would be best for you. You get to decide.

I have to spread some love around before I can rep Base again so I will do it here. Great post and some good things to consider.

Thanks all. I am working from my home office this week, and it is nice to just be at home. I intend to identify the various issues and then prioritize them, see what that results in.

[mleighp1]

Just dusting this thread off! Hope you are doing well and working hard on your goals while enjoying life at the same time!